Hodgepodge Lodge
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Hodgepodge Lodge™ is a multinational chain of resort inns, motels, hotels, hostels, and homelessness shelters run under the brutal heel of the multitrillionaire tycoontrix Miss Jean, who is celebrated as a public icon for her role in consuming many endangered species such as rabbits and snails and Dan Quayle and fat little puppies that wag their tails all wobbly.
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[edit] A Humble Beginning which Flopped Dismally
Way back in the ancient mists of that seventies decade, Miss Jean acquired her first holding deep in the Dark and Creepy Forest of Appalachian Transylvania. The charming hostess often invited random city-dwelling children to her rickety greenish shack in order to partake of the wonders of all-natural herbs and spices, and visit her underground petting zoo where they could interact live with Miss Jean's prized collection of rabid animals, which included whales and tigers (and elephants too). After only a few months, Miss Jean was forced to close down operations due to unsubstantiated rumors of hidden television cameras secretly filming the pornography, and several of her young guests being suddenly and inexplicably devoured by a lurking Republican.
[edit] Rebuilding the Empire
After many years of fending off hostile public opinion and wrongful death lawsuits and anticommunist propaganda, and a brief and unhappy marriage to Mister Green Jeans, Miss Jean successfully put the sordid past behind her and relaunched her skyrocketing career via shady real estate transactions and mass advertising on indie rock telethons. Under Miss Jean's brilliant management and hitler-like acumen, Hodgepodge Lodge rapidly expanded from absolutely nothing and diversified into a vast empire of luxurious tropical resorts, lavish casinos, and impovershed Indian reservations.
[edit] Fuck Nature, Who Needs It?
Today, Hodgepodge Lodge Incorporated employs millions of illegal immigrants around the world. Every lodge is chockful of technological wonders and video games, where helpless children are admitted free of charge and insulated from the ravages of sunlight, fresh air, and untamed nature.
