Hollywood, Los Angeles, California

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The Hollywood Sign, single handedly rearranged by a pissed and dyslexic Arnold Schwarzenegger

HollywoodTMTMTMTMTMTM is a famous pile of shit located in Los Angeles, California. It is the number 1 place where rapists run away to.

Business and Industry[edit]

Aside from carefully hidden propaganda, Hollywood's main export is a product known as schlock. Schlock is a gooey, oily substance that most people say they find repulsive. In reality, consumers eat this stuff up to the tune of $300 billion dollars a year. This money is then sealed away in an illegal bank account, reportedly belonging to the Speilbergians (the Fourth Tribe of Israel), so as to make certain that inevitable sequels (Schlock II< Bigger, Badder, Oily-er) are less appealing due to lack of funds. Consumers will then spend still more money in theaters, thus perpetuating the cycle infinitely, or until a franchise has sent its main character to space, Manhattan, Mars, the center of the Earth, out for a weekend a Bernie's, or into a syndicated television program.

Strange side effects of this business cycle are reported among theater goers. One cannot help but feel that after going through the hassle of waiting in line several times for tickets and pop corn treats to the tune of twenty American dollars just for the honor of sitting in an uncomfortable seat behind someone who's entirely too tall and restricts your view of the screen, which is rehashing a situational concept that has been done a million times before with better acting, that they can actually hear the director, producer, and main cast members in some gothic château in the middle of the night, laughing manically at your troublesome experience.

Some of the major producers of schlock are Jerry Bruckheimer, FOX, and Burger King.

Hollywood Icons[edit]

Marilyn Monroe: made famous by blond hair, Drugs and indecent exposure in white dresses. But one stars betters them all. she is so purely perfect that her sheer awesomeness is blinding to anyone who doesn't wear sunglasses. 9 out of 10 historians agree that she likely had the best pussy in American history.

Severus Snape: English born but overwhelmingly famous in Hollywood. This character, portrayed by fine actor Alan Rickman, !!!!!!SPOILER!!!!!was killed off unjustly in the final installment of Harry Potter.

David Thewlis: Eccentric yet upsettingly boring to watch on screen, he found fame simply because he was a bit retarded and the big studios felt sorry for him. Nevertheless, he is now a bultry millionaire.

Daniel Craig: Sexy boy Dan, when spotted on the beach sporting a frame like a brick s***house was cast as a fatty acidic monster alien in his greatest ever film, Alien versus Predator.

Sean Bean: Beans wrote a short poem before his death, which can be sung to the tune of "Theyre taking the hobbits to Isengard" by Icelandic singer Legless

Beans means greens means breens supreme beans (8x) Thanks for taking part (100x) Unfortunately, this poem was considered the "worst poem in existence" by acclaimed poet and feminist b*tch Carol Ann Duffy, and a great many others.

Famous Landmarks of Hollywood[edit]

Check out West Sunset Blvd, its where Alec Baldwin likes to pick up transsexuals. Also if your in that area Lealand Way is where you see JumpersJole, its Angelina's sweat shop. you can buy quality jumpers there for only $7.Children alley where 200 children pass everyday Known Prowling ground of Michael Jackson. If you don't feel like traveling on L.A.'s congested freeways, spend 900 bucks for a plane ticket at the infamous LAX airport, where the X stands for Xpensive Nazis.

Oh My God


7 Main roads:

  • Hollywood Blvd.
  • I-405 freeway (aka the highway to hell)
  • Sunset Blvd.
  • I-10 freeway
  • Vine St.
  • Surgery Lane.
  • Whore St.


Ryan Seacrest! Bruce Vilanch! Kevin Costner! All can be found walking down Hollywood Blvd. at 2 AM. Stars by day, thugs by night.

Getting around in Hollywood[edit]

The rickshaw is by far the most popular form of transportation. Passengers are encouraged to whip their driver as this makes the experience that much more fulfilling. Rickshaws have been clocked at speeds of up to 63mph on the freeway.

People of Hollywood[edit]

If you love being spat on then Hollywood is the place for you! No where else in California can you get hit on by a drug dealer and then have a hooker rub its bits on you. Truly a magical place full of wonderful and friendly people, somewhere the whole family can enjoy.

Also, check out the parade of retarded tourists from the nations breadbasket, and notice how they seemed to have filled up on bread before coming. Don't tell race jokes around them, because they are easily spooked. Oops!

Hollywood Boulevard[edit]

Hollywood Boulevard has the distinction of being home to the most wholesome of homos and trannys. On any given day, free condoms and sponges will be passed to the happy youngsters who make the walk up the famous stretch. There's even a man who will snort lines of coke right off of Hedda Hopper's star.

If you are considering a career in evil, Hollywood Boulevard is the best place to start.

West Hollywood. Honey, are we lost?[edit]

Teach your kids about Alternative Lifestyles before their Gym Teachers do! West Hollywood offers the vacationing family a warm and firm reach around, as well as internal massages. Come to the Troubador, where famous acts such as Guns N Roses, Poison, and Warrant all blew for blow.

North Hollywood[edit]

Called NoHo since Mayor Rudolph Giuliani moved in, North Hollywood is as good as place as any to express your inner bitch, but absolutely no whoring.


In 1999, after years of being ruled by an iron fisted mayor known only as Carrot Top, the citizens of Hollywood stopped pumping themselves full of cocaine long enough to elect a reformer to the mayor's office. Now they are just full of shit. Ashton Kutcher has since presided over the trucker-capped denizens of this bustling metropolis, and by all accounts it has been a successful term in office. No longer do hookers and pimps parade up and down Hollywood Boulevard and its venerable Walk of Fame. Now, they have nice offices with plush couches and plenty of crystal meth and kittens to go around. First lady(maybe) / Police Chief Demi Moore is currently waging a campaign to eradicate nude beaches from the city. She also has big, amazing knockers.

Daphne Blake is killed on August 19, 1989 at a Burger King in Hollywood by Ronald McDonald during the tv movie McDonald's Murder! and The King shot McDonald down. They were taken to The Scrappy Doo Medical Center but Blake passed away at 4:30 pm and McDonald was taken to The LA Mental Hospital in Culver City CA for 2 months.

Where It's At Today[edit]

Hollywood has now become a place worshiped by all American teen girls. This obviously means it sucks ass. Hollywood can be called the shittiest place on earth, since it really is.All of it is plastic, you will never find anything natural in Hollywood. Hollywood's downfall really began when Lindsay Lohan was born. But, was Hollywood ever at the top? Oh yes, when there was no sound on the TV. You wouldn't hear screeching and teen girls shouting because their dad didn't get Justin Timberlake to go to their super queer 16.

It has a big sign!!![edit]

Yep! It does!