Holy
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Holy is basically when something is all glowy and religious and stuff, or has the same amount of holes as Swiss cheese.
Holiness can be described as a state of extreme boredom, usually because you've spent too much time praying to a non-existent being. It is also suggested that you become holy after youve been shot as much as 50 Cent.
Contents |
[edit] Holy Cow!
Cows are considered Holy beings and must be shot in the torso regularily to maintain holiness. The black spots on a cow DO NOT COUNT for holes. Be a man and shoot that sucker where it hurts! Brown Cows are not as holy as the original Dalmation cows but still are good to shoot in the intestines.
[edit] Holy Shit!
Yes, your shit is holy. Praise its holiness by putting more holes in its brown, mushy awesomeness with a toothpick or your penis. If your shit makes a hole by itself, then you are truly an amazing person and you must make people worship you because your shit is naturally holy.
[edit] I Want To Be Holy!
Well You Cant be holy because you are an idiot and your shit is the color of lemons and seashells. I REALLY suggest you go to a doctor and take a look at it.
[edit] Who Is Holy?
There have been many notable examples of holy things in history. For the sake of simplicity, here's a few of them:
- Jesus H. Christ
- The Holy Broken Chair of Fluffiness
- Caffeine
- Flying Spaghetti Monster
- The Holiest of Holies
- Shit
- Adolf the Red Nose Nazi
A visible aura behind one's head is often a sign of holiness, though less commonly a dangerous Glowing (and possibly holy) Head-Leech. If a Glowing Head-Leech is discovered, try praying. If you're lucky, your new holy aura will bounce that sucker right off. Unless the Glowing Head-Leech is holy, of course, in which case it will persist and demand worship.
'Your Holiness' is also a good way to refer to the Pope (unless he's off-duty, in which case you should just call him Bill).
[edit] Holy cheese!
“Holy Cheese; isnt that the stuff you put on your Subway sub? ”
~ Stupid Guy on Holy Cheese
“Someone hand over the mozzarella because that joke was CHEESEY'”
~ Oscar Wilde on Bad Jokes
Holy Cheese is what you insert your penis into if a prostitute or Your Mom arent around. Sure there are no Orgasms BUT there are multiple holes! So feel free to use either hole for your size. My Suggestion for you, the smallest one.
