Homeowners association
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We could start a homeowners association, there just like governments except they're run by house wives and old people, so they're much more effective at running your life. -Medical Officer DuFrain on Homeowners associations
Homeowners associations (HOA's) are a form of private government whos' regarded purpose is to manage a neighborhood's common areas such as roads, parks, churches, pools Reagan Statues ect. About 1 in 6 Americans live in communities with homeowners associations 1 in 4 homes built since the 1990's are in areas run by homeowners associations. Homeowners associations are usually established in newly built suburban planed communities; and are run typically by more right leaning higher income citizens. Most people who are under homeowners associations are typically upper middle class white Republicans who believe heavy enforcement of rules and extreme punishments for simple misunderstandings reduces crime and reenforces right wing fascist domination.
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[edit] Powers of HOA's
HOAs have enormous powers over it's subjects. Since they are considered private corporations they do not have to adhere to Federal or State Constitutions. They fall under corporate law and can basically fuck you up royally without any sort of oversight. HOA's have the power to fine you for any reason, sue you, and even foreclose on your home for as little as $2,500 in debts to your local HOA. They are controlled by a board of 'volunteers' that are elected by the male head of every house. who make decisions on how to restrict the lives of the entire people living in the area.
HOA's control every aspect of a persons life in the hopes that they will be assimilated into the collective. HOA's can control things like
- Where you can park your car
- What kinds of plants you can plant
- What kind of color your house can be
- If you can have an American flag on your property
- What kind of curtains you can hang on your windows
- How often one must go to church
- If you can rent your house out
- If you can add an addition to your house
- Everything not mentioned on this list
[edit] Different types of HOA board members
HOA board members are typically white Republicans who want to control every aspect of peoples private life. Ironically the Republican belief is that smaller less intrusive government is better, but HOA's add just another layer of government to the mix in complete contrast to the Reagan belief of smaller government. Still many Republicans enjoy HOA's despite the fact that it contradicts their core beliefs. HOA board members like to believe (or say the believe) that doing things like fining people for putting up American Flags on their property will stop crime and keep the black man from hurting everyone. In reality HOA board members like the power because of an ego thing they like to in control and powerful. Here are a couple of types of HOA Board members.
[edit] The Racist
Common catch phrase- The South will rise again! Favorite Item- A gun!
The Racist is an individual that exploits right wing Americans fear of the Black man and the Mexican to keep control of his subjects. He uses this as an excuse to create the stupidest rules in the name of "Preventing Crime." He is very self conscious and cowardly and compensates by acting powerful
[edit] The Compassionate Conservative
Common catch phrase- Tough love mister! Favorite Item- The Bible
The Compassionate Conservative is neither Compassionate nor Conservative. Rather he uses this title as a way of gaining the trust of his subjects. The CC is a greedy Malevolent being who essentially wants just what he wants and makes it look like he is doing it all for the Public Good" He is generaly trusted and never questioned.
[edit] The Priest
Common catch phrase- You're going to hell. Favorite Item- Vaseline
Considered to be pure good due to his affiliation with the being known as god. He is trusted by adults and children alike. People trust him because is apparently a friend of something that strike them by lightening and will choose when the apocalypse happens.
[edit] Old Guy
Common catch phrase-Lousy teens! Favorite Item- Viagra
Seniel, confused and lonely. They forget what it is like to be young so they make the young know what it's like to be old. The are losing power over there lives so they want power over others
[edit] The Family Man
Common catch phrase- I'm a family man, everyone else is a second class citizen Favorite Items- Recliner, Beer, Remote
The family man is an individual who uses his responsibilities toward his extensive family to gain an advantage over his opponents. He claims that since he is a provider he knows everything about everything and must be given special treatment. Usually he needs the power provided by HOA's for a sense of authority and power.
[edit] How to avoid HOA's
Dr. Robert Jarvik the inventor of the artificial heart says that the best way to keep away from HOA's is to not let them set up near where you live and don't move into one. If one does happen to set up in your neighborhood your best bet is to protest guns and try say the most left wing stuff in the name of free speech in an attempt to scare away some more Republican residents.
