Homo erectus

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“Goddamn, that's the biggest gay boner I have ever seen! And I have seen six!”

~ Oscar Wilde on gay erections


Homo Erectus is what occurs when a penis of a Homosexual male becomes engorged with blood, and stands upright.


Ways to find a Homo Erectus[edit]

The most common place to find a Homo Erectus is at a gay porno theater. Said Homo Erecti will not be immediately evident, but will be quite easy to find. Simply remove the garments covering the lower torso of the nearest Homosexual rubbing the general area of his genitalia.

How to identify a Homo Erectus[edit]

To the untrained eye, a Homo Erectus is indistuinguishable from a normal penis, but using the following, you will quickly become an expert in distuinguishing between Homo Erecti, and Hetero Erecti.

A Homo Erectus is simply a long cylinder ending a bulbous protrusion with a slit at the end. Common Homo Erecti often have brown stains on them, and smell faintly of lotion/KY Jelly/Oil. You're average Homo Erecti are anywhere from 3-52 Inches in length, and 3-102 Inches in Diameter.

The Extinction of the Greatest Homo Erectus[edit]

It is widely known that Oscar Wilde was the last of the Homo Erecti, killed in the battle of The Somme. He was shooting down Namibian footsoldiers when a stray bullet tagged his erect penis and caused a hemmorage so large that he died within minutes. The pool of blood was so deep that it was named "The Dead Sea", in honour of the dead Oscar Wilde, the best endowed of his people. However, being Oscar Wilde, he immediately came back from the dead in a more or less Chuck Norris-like fashion. Sadly, his manhood, though able to become erect, will never be as huge or as long as it once was.