Homo sapiens

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This article is about a creature. You better run, you now only have a few hours to live! Use them wisely. Hmm, maybe you could use the teleporter over there?


“Why is everyone here so obsessed with my ass?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Homo sapiens²


Homo sapiens (not to be confused with Hetero sapiens) is a highly-evolved sub-genus of the human species. The homo sapiens is known for excellent dress sense, an advanced sense of wit and a large ego. As the homo sapiens is perfect in every possible way, it is not gay[citation needed].Billy is lame as seen on


Origin[edit]

Some parts of Namibia are better than others

Some argue that the homo sapiens originated from the Caprivi Strip of northern Namibia. However, modern research suggests that this was merely a stop-over point because they liked the look of the place. Unfortunately, no one can quite remember those days, it was before HIV/AIDS and well you just bent over and enjoyed took what came your way.

Nevertheless, modern scientists believe that the homo sapiens evolved when the common or garden male hetero sapiens discovered that other male common or garden hetero sapiens are horny too. Very. Like in three times a day. This is in marked contrast to the female of the hetero species, who never ever puts out, no matter what you say or do or even if you acquire numerous credit cards and buy her an entire flower garden. Actually, the previously-hetero sapiens discovered that to get action all you need to do is lurk in any flower garden or park. Never the less, after all this careful research it was discovered that the Homo sapiens is everywhere, but at any given time most of them are in a Homosexual.

Identifying a homo sapiens[edit]

The homo sapiens is everywhere
Absolutely everywhere

It is sometimes difficult to distinguish the homo sapiens from another sapiens, particularly the the metro sapiens, the homo sapiens metro and David Beckham. After a detailed study of a number of different sources, including the very many homo pages on Uncyclopedia, the movie Lucas Lays London and Oprah’s couch, anthropologists have managed to classify the male population into four categories: Homo sapiens, Hetero sapiens, Homo sapiens (you wish) and Hetero sapiens (you wish). Generally, the rule is that if a guy is wearing pink, earrings and has blonde highlighted hair, he is probably a young hetero sapiens with a crush on David Beckham.

Everyone is in on the act

Mating habits[edit]

The homo sapiens is known for regular mating. Indeed some of them go at it like rabbits on Viagra. The mating season runs from 31 December at 9pm in a random bathroom to 30 December at 3am behind some bushes. The species does not mate during the day on the 31 December, because they need to rest their mating muscles in anticipation of A Big New Year.

Marriage amongst the homo sapiens[edit]

In recent years, the hetero sapiens republicanis has become increasingly jealous of the homo sapiens democratis, jumping from bed to bed and generally having as much action as anyone could ever want. Accordingly, the hetero sapiens has launched a campaign to force the homo sapiens to endure the everlasting torment of marriage. Ever one knows that married sapiens don’t ever get any, which means that they will eventually die out.

Leader of the free homo sapiens

Leadership[edit]

Leader of the freer homo sapiens

The leader of the largest collection of free Homo sapiens is George W. Bush a fine upstanding young man, who bravely leads all of his people (well the ten people that simultaneously didn't vote for Al Gore, are straight, live in Texas, do not have children serving in Iraq and drive cars that don't require gas, but are still not environmentally friendly. The Homo sapiens that live in his country bravely fought for the freedom to do whatever the Republican want them to do.

Other leaders of the Homo sapiens are Mr T , Margaret Thatcher and King David

See Also[edit]

Other homos on Uncyclopedia

i love bon jovi