Honest politicians
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This article is about the mythical creature. Or were you looking for Bob Dole?
The honest politician is a legendary creature embodied like an average politician, but without a personal agenda that is dominating his or her worldview, and with a tendency to speak the truth which distinguishes him or her from an ordinary politician.
The honest politician is one of the few fabulous creatures that does not seem to have been conceived out of human fears. In even the earliest references they are fierce yet good, selfless yet solitary, but always mysteriously truthful.
Reported observations and self-claims of honest politicians are a fairly regular occurence, but no proof of the existence of this creature has ever been verified.
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[edit] Sightings
Over the years, there have been several alleged sightings of the mythical honest politician in various parts of the world.
In 1289, a Danish alchemist claimed to have created an honest politician from Thallium, but it was discovered he was merely freaking out from taking too much meth.
Alexander Hamilton thought Aaron Burr was an honest politician, but then that mother fucker shot him.
Calvin Coolidge claimed to have captured an honest politician on one of his hunting expeditions in Antarctica, but it was not an honest politician, it was the Yeti.
In 2008, Barack Obama went to Delaware to capture an honest politician using a gun that run off of hope and change. He caught an unidentified creature, thought to be the elusive honest politician. These reports were debunked when it was discovered that he had actually just captured Joe Biden.
[edit] Theoretically Honest Politician
It sometimes happens that after many years of graft, corruption and influence peddling that a politician is so secure politically and financially that he starts to think of his place in the history books. At this point, he may then start doing honest things for the good of the people, which generally pisses off his backers who have paid for him for years. It is at this point, assuming he doesn't piss off too many powerful people, that he is called a "statesman".
[edit] Virtually Honest Politician
It oft times depends on how you define words. As the late Grandmaster of SciFi Robert Heinlein pointed out, there are two types of politicians, the "reform" politician and the "corrupt" politician. Heinlein pointed out that the corrupt politician, knowing that his word was all he had to sell, was very honest, as if he lied about what he said he was going to do, no one would bother to bribe him to do it.
The reform politician on the other hand would be very dishonest, mainly for changing his mind and his stance on issues, any time anyone at all could persuade him that it was for the good of the people.
[edit] One Actually Honest Politician
Cincinnatus. Well, google for goodness sake. How funny can I be about this lone hero?
