Honk

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Honk is a highly illegal, though powerful hallucanagenic drug that became popular in the 1960s along with everything else. It is highly addictive, and can cause a wide range of unpleasent side effects.


Apperance and Availability[edit]

Honk is a white-black or Green-purple or Yellow-milk colour, depending on the level of purification and the degree to which it has been cut. It is available across Europe and Amerika, and costs from £3/g to £60/g. [[1]]


Terminology[edit]

Honk is also known as Spazzer, Tungsten, Monkey-gizzards and Yeast-Snacks. Dealers of Honk can be called Honkers. Users of Honk refer to themselves as "Honkrockers" or "Hippies". Phrases used to indicate the quality of honk are widespread and change completly depending on location; for example "this honk is honk, man" in Stratford-Upon-Avon (an area of prolific honk use) means "this is good" whereas in Scunthorpe is means exactly the opposite. In Tokyo it means absolutely nothing, as they don't speak English. "Honking the honkwave" and "heralding the honkbeast" mean "getting high". "Honking my way to honkland" was recently dropped as a Honk-rocker expression by the Society Hippies Instisute of Terminology (SHIT). Derogative terms for users of honk include "poo-licker", "turd-sniffer" and "spandex-nostrils"; most refer to the unplesent methods of taking honk.


Taking Honk[edit]

Honk, unlike many other drugs, has to taken in very specific ways to maintain it's potency. There are five methods.

Latex Finger Method Crush the powder to a fine dust. Put on a latex glove. Lick the end of a finger. Place finger in honk-dust, insert finger into arsehole. Repeat.

Alternate Finger Method As above, without a glove.

Partner Finger Method As latex finger method, but you finger someone elses arse-hole.

Alternate Partner Finger Method As above, without a glove.

Alternate Elbow Method As above, more eye-watering.

Ear Hole method Dip cotton bud in honk-powder. Insert through ear drum and tickle brain directly.

Effects[edit]

Positive Plesent tingling, lightheadedness, halucinations.

Negitive Short Term Inability to speak coherently, the belief that ones pants are on fire, dizziness, nausea, explosive diarrhea, crying blood.

Negetive Long Term Listing (permenanant leaning to one side), Foul-smelling Flatulance, addiction, belief in ones fellow man, skin growing over the nostrils, deafness, inablity to say numbers, teeth turn into wood, radioactive fire breath, turning to evil, nipples produce milk continually (even in men).