Hope, British Columbia

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Hope, B.C. is a disgusting excuse for a town. The name of the town is a trick, because when you enter this place, all hope is lost. This town has a population of 450, 700 of those are natives. Everybody in Hope is related, due to the fact that everybody in Hope is so unattractive, they have to mate with each other in order to maintain their town. Hope has 5 streets and one traffic light. This light is at the entrance to the highway. The next major town is west of Hope, the shithole of Chilliwack. Hope has no attractions and is depressing to visit. This is how the residents like it. It is unknown if Hope has always been depressing, or if it was made so by the residents to discourage visitors. In an age of rising house prices, Hope has a consistent rate of $45 per acre.


Hope's economy, or as it is known there, "ekomommy", is sparse. Aside from the token GM dealership, Hope's business includes:

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Downtown Hope, with two of it's finest residents
  • Sasquatch hunting
  • Indian hunting
  • Cooper's foods
  • Gas stations
  • Rambo movies

Education Services[edit]

Hope offers its minors(and miners) the very best in education. This includes tradtional Hope occupations like drunk and prostitute. Because in Hope the legal age of consent is 8 months, this training begins at 5 and goes for the full 7 years of schooling, leaving professionally trained 12 year old prostitutes ready to join the work force of street walkers with all the skills they need.

Local Skillz[edit]

Hope is famous all around Hope for Chainsaw Carving. This is probably because Hope residents are mildly retarded and love huffing gasoline like there's no tomorrow. In 1459, Hope held the first and only Chainsaw Carving Championship. Hope came out the clear winner, largely due to the fact that the only other team was The Breakfast Club.

Chainsaw Carving Championship Teams: Team Leatherface and The Breakfast Club.


Hope is located 30 minutes east of civilization. Because of frequent sasquatch attacks, Hope only has one road in and out. In and out. In and out. oh yeah baby.

Hope is that way
 North West: North:  North East:
West: The Shithole of Chilliwack Hope East:
 South West: The Shithole of Chilliwack South: Washington (USA)  South East:

See Also[edit]