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“It's a normal, harmless disorder. It's as harmless as SARS”
“So you're 13 huh?”
“Wait! Don't ignore me! I have a candy inside my pocket, you can get it if you want to. It's delicious!”
Pedophilia is a sexual disorder of having a desire to have buttsecks and/or intercourse with a child. Molested children's age range from 5 days old to 13 years old, which means that you, yes you, the kid reading this page, which you know you're not, are still at great risk of losing your virginity. For more info though, click here pedophilia
You as a pedo
Wait first. WTF is a kid like you reading a How To be Pedo article? Regardless of your age anyways, wtf are you doing reading a How to be a Pedo article? Click here... please Dr Phil can help you
Starting off... Pedo excersises
To be a pedo first you must have that bloodthirsty, cannot-be-easily-quenched, turns-you-to-blind-rage, desire for having sex with children. A daily habit of visiting illegal child porn sites would be good for this. Examples of these sites are:
After visiting these sites, a pedo aspirant should masturbate while imagining himself rape a harmless baby in a dark room. The pedo aspirant could make moaning baby screeches, if more pleasure is desired.
How to set a good atmosphere for masturbation:
1. Listen to Michael Jackson.
2. candy scented candles
3. Dark room
4. You, nude
5. removing your baby sister's clothes
The World meets PEDO you!
The above directions must be done for at least 3 days. After which, you are now prepared, you big fella! Lucky for you, the world is full of children! Due to this, there are a lot of pedo strategies to get your first victim. Famous ones are the following:
Candy in pocket
The 'Candy in Pocket' trick has been passed on for many generations now. This can be done by putting a candy in your pocket. Approach a kid across the street and tell him that you have candy inside your pocket. He can have it for one condition, if he'll reach inside your pocket. When the kid reaches in, grab him and run to a secluded place.
Be an artist
Ah yes! The famous 'Be an artist' trick. This can be done by applying for a manager that can make you famous. Release a good album. and start a new dance move trend.
Playing with your catch
It is definitely up to you on how you would fumble with a kid. Different strokes for different pedos.
WTF? You read the whole article?
Wow! Sir I must commend you, you really want to be a pedo do you? Or you are pedo and you are expecting naked baby pics here in the article huh? Go Out There! The world's children are waiting for you!!!
Me. What about me?
Uhh... i must assure you I'm not pedo... I promise.
So you're thirteen huh? Wanna come to my place? just e-mail me..