HowTo:Be to the Extreme!!!
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So you wanna know how to be the most gnarliest, bodacious, most wicked kid on the block? You've come to the correct location! These easy to follow pointers will help you be so extreme, Tony Hawk will piss his pants at the mention of your name!
Make sure your style is extreme, but not too extreme. You don't want to end up like Bjork. Seriosuly. Actually. I'm not kidding around. Bjork is a rapist.
- Wear your cap (with an overly-modified Major League Baseball logo on it) backwards to indicate "Hey man, I don't abide
to hat-wearing etiquette!"
- Wear your pants unecessarily low, and make sure they're 2 sizes bigger than your normal ones for extreme baggyness!
- Wear sunglasses at all times to show you don't care how dark everything seems.
- Wear your underpants at least 2 inches higher than your belt line.
- Snowboarding- Show Jack Frost who can really nail a 360!
- Skateboarding- If you can't skateboard you're definitely NOT extreme. Go home.
- Surfing- The original epitome of the extreme, ride the waves the show what you got to all of those sharks down there!
- For extra fun, go surfing with seal meat in your trunks!
There are many extreme and semi-extreme gestures you can use in everyday situations. Here are 3 examples:
- Hang 10- To indicate that someone is in the same general sphere of extremeness as you.
- Middle finger- To indicate you dislike a certain person's actions or views on life.
- Devil horns- To indicate that the music you are listening to is enjoyable
You gotta talk extremely to live extremely! The most important rule of speaking to the extreme is to use extreme words like gnarly, radically, off the hook, bodacious, dude, yo, and the such. Also, use skateboarding tricks as terms! "That was a kickflippin' good time", "I'm gonna grind over to school", and "That movie was such a bail off an ollie".
Some Extreme People You Can Relate To!
These are some GREAT role models!
- Oscar Wilde
- Sonic the Hedgehog
- Hugh Hefner
- Tony the Tiger
- The Cheetohs cheetah (he's dangerously cheesy!)
Well I hope you learned some gnarly stuff today, and remember to be so extreme your teacher commits suicide! Oh yeeeah!