HowTo:Become Gay
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I bet you're here to become gay, right? Either that or you're just what we folk call "Curious". Well, let's get started, ruining lives is fun.
Knowing your gender is a major helper in knowing how to be gay, cause you have to know what gender you're gonna be gay with, which is no gender but your own. So if you are a boy, take the boy guide, or girl, take the girl guide.
Contents |
[edit] BOYS:
Okay, here we go, here's your first big step in becoming gay.
[edit] Step 1:Appearance
Clothing is the very first thing you notice about queers. What you have to do is: throw out all your clothes, go to the clothes store (with no clothes on). Then buy anything that either doesn't fit, is pink, or has stupid writing on it: like "Harvard Class of '08!!!" Another thing you have to remember is to break up with your girlfriend or imaginary girlfriend, (which if you don't have one, it's probably because you play MMORPGs, which would already make you gay). Also, make sure to buy a little scarf, briefs, sunglasses with star-shaped frames, and short shorts. If you can grow a moustache, make it really thin. Finally, mousse your hair and wear makeup. .. Or you can just go and buy some clothes from Express for Men.
[edit] Step 2:Personality
As everyone knows, the gayest thing a person can do is watch the Disney Channel. Got that? Also, memorize the Ultimate showdown and sing it to your friends. And add some "YEAH YEAH!" to it. And or you can go chav. If you haven't met one....believe me....they are REALLY gay. And the thing you really have to do is be an actual HOMO. If a girl asks you out (most likely due to a zap, dare, or desperation) say "EEEEWWWW! COOTIES!" And run off to and sing The Ultimate Showdown to your friend, who, should have a really gay name.
[edit] Step 3:Behavior
When you walk around men look between their legs and go like "ooh." Talk with a gay person voice and drive a van. Get a job as an ice cream salesman or a carnival ride guy. Upload shit onto the internet. Say things like "goody" "nifty" "fag" and "fabulous." Be the guy who gets a job at a woman place, like a 2-year old play place or be the guy at work who likes kids and is always nice to them and gives them candy and stuff. You could also be a guidance counselor if you prefer boys, not men. Disney channel, Dr. Phil and Oprah are the best things for gay people to watch. VOTE FOR HILLARY! That's it.
[edit] GIRLS:
If you're one of those idiot girls who would visit this page: here's your guide.
[edit] Step 1:Get a sex change
....That's it.
