HowTo:Get Nigger-Blood Out Of White Robes
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So you got filthy Negro-blood all over your shiny new white robes? Or perhaps you are a southern woman whose husband came home from a night drinking with his buddies and thrust a bloodied bundle of cloth into your arms saying, "clean these or I'll beat you again." Perhaps you are currently in the bathroom frantically trying to get the filthy darky's blood and skin out from under your fingernails before the cops show up. Don't panic! We have all been there. This guide contains all the information you need to get your robes as clean and white as a perfect Aryan child.
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[edit] Initial Treatment
For light stains, such as the blood splatters from a bar-fight or standard lynching, one treatment should be sufficient to remove the stain. Just follow the steps below to get the filthy coon's blood out of your fabric.
- Blot the stain immediately with paper towels to remove the worst of it.
- Combine 1 teaspoon laundry soap or pretreatment (or dish soap, like Dawn™) and 1 cup hydrogen peroxide in a small bowl. Soak a clean sponge in the mixture, squeeze it halfway dry, then gently blot the stain.
- Wash in cool water.
- Air dry. Do not use your dryer because the stain may set in and consequently you may never be able to remove the filthy nigger blood from your robes.
[edit] Persistent Stains
The above process should be sufficient for most stains; however, some stains, like the Negro population itself, just refuse to go away and die. This type of stain can result from stabbing some dirty nigger in the stomach until he dies in your arms and then burying him in a shallow grave, for example. In such a case, you should follow the steps below.
- Sponge the stain lightly with a solution of equal parts ammonia and water.
- Apply a laundry pre-treatment, such as stain remover or detergent. The KKK laundry department recommends AmericanX™.
- Launder as usual.
- Air dry.
Repeat this process until your robes are as pure and white as you are. Do not expose the fabric to heat until the stain is completely lifted.
[edit] What To Do If Your Robes Are Dry-Clean Only
If your robes are dry-clean-only it may not be possible for you to remove the stain yourself. If this is the case, wipe away the worst of the dirty ape's blood with a paper towel and get it to a dry-cleaners' as soon as possible. It may be advisable to go to a cleaners' out of town, just in case the pigs come sniffing around. Luckily, your robes probably won't be dry-clean only, as they were most likely designed so that coon-blood splatters are easily removable.
[edit] Stain-Insure
By now, your robes should be completely free of nigger blood. However, you may want to ensure that next time this happens the stain comes away more easily. Use a scoop of AmericanX™ Oxy-Action™ in every wash to "Stain-Insure" your robes and next time you hang some nigger from a tree or kerb-stomp his ape-like face in, the stains should wash right out.
