How To: Taking a Shit

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Here's how to take a shit:

You have this painful urge to take a shit, so what do you do about it ?

You go to, in a city, town, your house, to a room that has a oval object in it. This is a toilet you idiot. You pull your pants down, pull your underwear down, then you sit on a ring-like construct. you then let out some LOUD farting noises by letting your asshole open. Suddenly, as the shit leaves your ass, you hear it hit the water, and the bathroom begins to really stink so bad that even the roaches leave the room, and they eat all kinds of shit. If you're in a PUBLIC restroom, you let out a REALLY LOUD fart, then tell your stall mate that he/she needs to call 911, telling him/her that the toilet had exploded, showering your ass with shrapnel. After you shit, wipe your ass, pull up your pants up, then you tell your stall mate that you had shit out a hell of a stinky shit, which is by now corroding the toilet and the sewer system. Outdoors, you find a bush and do as instructed. Just don't let a plant, etc. go up your ass.

[edit] Sources

• Uncyclopedia's The Shits
• Wikipedia's article "Shit"

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