Huntsville

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Huntsville is a sleepy hamlet located somewhere in the middle of the prime state of Jesusland-upon-Bobton (a.k.a. JUB Land, Middle of Nowhere (yes they are talking about here when they say that and Texas)).

Contents 1 Geography 2 History 2.1 Pre-Civil War (4004 BCE to 1861) 2.2 Civil War (1861 to 1865) 2.3 Post-Civil War (1865 to The Second Coming) 3 Education 3.1 Some of the courses offered at Sam Houston University 4 Trivial Information

[edit] Geography

Huntsville is mostly flat with small man-made lakes, poisonous swamps (a.k.a. hick breweries), and pine and cedar trees. Most notorious are the Mexican-Americans that sit in the pine trees and shoot flaming arrows at passers-by. Such behavior forces passers by to climb the cedar trees with their rifles and shoot the Mexican-Americans out of their pine trees. Pine is also the main building material in Jesusland-Upon-Bobton.

[edit] History

[edit] Pre-Civil War (4004 BCE to 1861)

• Sam Houston was born here.
• Sam Houston founded the city of Huntsville and named it "Huntsville", because the name "Houston" was already taken.
• Sam Houston lived here.
• Something else happened here, but nobody remembers, and they forgot to record it.
• Another thing also happened here that everybody remembers, but they're all too lazy to bother putting it here, but at least they recorded it.

[edit] Civil War (1861 to 1865)

• Sam Houston retired here and was gaven the CMU (Cerified Medal of Uselessness) and knighted by The King.
• Huntsville seceded from the State of Texas Jesusland Bobton Jesusland-upon-Bobton and elected Sam Houston to be their King in Perpetuity.
• Sir Sam Houston came out of retirement, ruled the Kingdom of Huntsville with an iron fist, and built several maximum security prisons here.
• Sir Sam Houston founded the venerable Sam Houston State Private University.
• Sir Sam Houston died here.
• After untold years of horrific bloodshed, and asking themselves "WWSHD?" or translated as "WTF?", the Kingdom of Huntsville finally surrendered to the Jesusland-upon-Bobton Militia and apologized profusely.

[edit] Post-Civil War (1865 to The Second Coming)

• Every so often, someone got killed executed here, during which time they had huge protests and the Houston news agencies all came up here for a rip-roaring party!!!
• Sam Jnr. came of age and was appointed as Ruler of

[edit] Education

Huntsville is often know for its venerable Sir Sam Houston (Private) University, where several founding members of the GNAA achieved the ultimate path of enlightenment (read: Batchelor's Degree, aka BS). Also there are several small penetentionary buildings high schools. These schools are:

• Sir Sam Houston Public High School
• Sir Sam Houston Private High School
• Sir Sam Houston Really Private High School
• Sir Sam Houston All Girls Boarding School
• Sir Sam Houston All Boys Boarding School
• Sir Sam Houston Communal Boarding School

[edit] Some of the courses offered at Sam Houston University

• Fundamentals of Public Dismemberment
• Gallows: An alternative view on Punishment
• Introduction to High Voltage and High Current
• Fuses: Why they sometimes blow
• Diodes: One Tracked Mind

[edit] Trivial Information

Huntsville is where the virtuous cowboys and cowgirls of all the surrounding parts of Jesusland-upon-Bobton send all their people that desperately need to be hung, drawn and quartered, electrified, shot through the lungs, boiled in oil,sodomized, or, if they are lucky enough, castrated and circumcised.