ICQ

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User's manual[edit]

“I've lost my password and this shit won't connect anymore.”

~ Oscar Wilde on ICQ

This is the ICQ User Manual.
If you want to be sent an official printed copy of this document email us at [email protected]
Note that the package can take more than a month to arrive to the YourHome(TM) location.

Protocol description[edit]

ICQ is a protocol that allows spammers and bots to communicate with their peaceful victims.
In fact, 2 * 2 = 4.

ICQ Question header
'n00b' 4 byte identifier
'Zash' 4 byte question identifier
12 byte additional question identifier (almost always 'TimberWaffle')
32 byte question string terminated by zero
Example: "What are you doing, Yoshi?"
'phentermine' 11 byte terminator

ICQ Answer header
'n00b' 4 byte identifier
'GKXW' 4 byte answer identifier
12 byte additional answer identifier (almost always 'SonicFan93cm')
32 byte answer string terminated by zero
Example: "Sonic 2006 RULES. OBEY ME"
'britneyporn' 11 byte terminator

Usual ICQ Conversations[edit]

JIOLS: LOL: DO YOU WANT TO NETGAME?
HMS133l,434: SURE
JIOLS: OKAY SETUPPING NETGAME.
JIOLS: ROLE PLAYINGS ROKCS.
JIOLS: OH AND BTW SB2 FORUM RULES R 4LAMERZ
HMS133l,434: TRU DAT. :D LALALALAWL FCUK FF
JIOLS: OKEAY ITSA SETUPPED NOW. JOINNOW!
HMS133l,434: OH HELL! WHATTA AN HAPPE DEY! :DDD
JIOLS: I MA THE BEST! ILL ROCK U! i USE SMS AND IMA THE ONLY THAT CAN USE IT.
JIOLS: ON MINE SERVER!
HMS133L,434: HUH STRANGE THIS. THEIR STRANGE PEOPLE ON YO SERVER.
JIOLS: WHAT???
HMS133L,434: LOOKY, DUDE.
HMS133L,434: <SRB2-Playah> Huh? Role-playing server? I'm telling this to Alam!
HMS133L,434. SRB2-Playah has left the game
HMS133L,434: what!??? I CANNAT ACCESS YOU ARE SERVER 4NYMORE!!!111!
JIOLS: I CANNEITHER. WTF HAPPENED?
JIOLS: OHNOES.
JIOLS: <SRB2MS> You are banned from the SRB2 Masterserver. Please host again when your ban is lifted.
JIOLS: OHNO!!!! Nrbjrebehjbehrehe I M KILLEING MYSELF NOW. SUICIDING MYSELF! OH AND BTW I'm MARCUS
HMS133L,434: ;_; SORRY 4 U. AND BTW!!!! I MA TAILS11! BUT WHY i cannot REGisTER ACCOUNTS ON THE SRB2 FORU
HMS133L,434: M ANYMORE? THEIR ALL DELETED AFTER I REGISTER THEM!

PrettyGirl247: hallo. I'm the sexiest girl of the world!
LittleBoy323: u need me.
PrettyGirl247: i ma dieing fo' you.
LittleBoy323: i luv u.
PrettyGirl247: let s have sex 'n upload it to YouTube
LittleBoy323: OKEYS LEMME GET MAH ROBE & STAFF!!!11
ShinyGuy545: OMG SEX VIDEO!!!!!!!111!1!! !LOL I LL SHOW THIS TO ALL OF MY KLASSMEATES

Who invented ICQ?[edit]

This is a question that mathematicians of all times have wanted to answer, but a 100% sure answer has yet to be found.
In Roman times it was believed to have been invented by Jupiter, after destroying Athena and consequently absorbing her knowledge.
In medieval times it was believed to have been invented by Christopher Columbus, after having been in America and having imported ICQ from there.
But, nowadays, the most supported answer is that it was all invented by TimberWaffle. Yup, him.

Links[edit]

The Flying Spaghetti Monster
The Flying Monster Spaghetti
The Spaghetti Monster Flying
The Monster Flying Spaghetti
Princess_Peach
TimberWaffle, the most important inventor in Human history
WaffleTimber
U.S Avellino
Wolf
Giovanni Basso