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“In Soviet Russia, physics teaches YOU!!!”

~ Russian Scientist
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about ISSYP.

The International Summer School for Young Physicists (ISSYP) is a place where people gather from around the world to "learn" physics. There is no real proof of this. The "participants" are bussed to a foreboding-looking building that is the spitting-image of a futuristic prison, called the Perimeter Institute after its rather impressive perimeter. During lunch, the participants are taken to the Black Hole Bistro where one is randomly selected to be thrown into the black hole for the jailkeepers' amusement.

The Jailkeepers[edit]

The jailkeepers, who go by the stage name of "Theoretical Physicists", are entrusted with the care of the attendees of the aforementioned camp. All appear to follow Catholicism strictly, one even changing his name to Mr. Pope. This cult-like following of the "Theoretical Extremeists", as they prefer to be known, is vastly unstudied, as much as they like everyone to think that all they do is study.


People are persuaded to sign up for ISSYP by inviting-looking brochures and the fact that it's free and all meals and board are provided for. Originally, the program only "took in" Canadians, but it is now international. The jailkeepers must have had a non-evil streak and decided to not be prejudiced.

It is usually intended that every continent is represented at the Summer School, except Antarctica, because no one actually cares about this giant ice cube, as STIMAC created it only by accident.

Pilot-Wave Theory[edit]

There is an exclusive sub-set to the Theoretical Extremists known as the Pilot-Wave Theorists, or simply the Pilot-Wave Cult. Cult members have been known to approach other physicists and attempt to persuade them to join. Promises are made of simple conceptualizations and resolution of paradoxes. Listen at your own risk.

See also[edit]