Ice Warfare

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“I went to a fight once, and a hockey game broke out.”

~ someone on ice hockey (aka ice warfare)

Ice warfare is a battle fought on any surface covered in ice. The Canadian Army, led by General Wayne Gretzky, specializes in Ice Warfare and has never lost a battle. Though Ice Warfare can be fought on any ice surface, it is most commonly fought on a Hockey Rink.

Contents 1 Equipment 2 Strategies 2.1 Basic Shooting 2.2 Bombardment 3 Famous Battles

[edit] Equipment

Ice Warfare requires some very high tech and innovative inventions to win. Here are some examples:

• A Hockey Stick. Similar to a Light Saber, hockey sticks are used to fire hockey pucks at enemies at a range and for cleaving off limbs in close quarters. The Average Hockey stick is between 5 to 7 feet in length.
• Hockey Pucks. Hockey pucks are like bullets. Extremely deadly, hockey pucks can easily kill a person if it hits the head or the heart. It will break any bone in the body and is made up of secret ingredients known only to the Canadian Army. As of 2006, only the Canadian army used hockey pucks, while the Americans used rocks.

[edit] Strategies

There is one strategy for winning ice warfare: "He Who Shoots the Most, Wins." Essentially, whichever army can shoot hockey pucks and stale Timbits faster will almost always have a guarunteed win. Occasionally, during a large battle, an army will bring in a Mechanical Hockey Puck Shooter, similar to a machine gun.

[edit] Basic Shooting

The majority of fighting during Ice Warfare is done by the "Forwards." These soldiers place puck on the ice, aim for an enemies' head, and hit the puck with their hokcey stick. The pucks can easily travel over 100 kilometres an hour and kill someone.

[edit] Bombardment

The secondary unit in Ice Warfare is the Defense. Though, as their name implies, they mainly serve a defensive role, protecting the Goalie, they are skilled at lobbing extra large explosive timbits and hockey pucks at the enemy.

[edit] Famous Battles

The most famous deployment of Ice Warfare was by the Canadians against the Mexicans during the Mexican-Canadian War. Because Mexican's only play soccer, they were no matched for Team Canada's superb bombardment and shooting skills and were defeated by a score of 234 to 0.

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