Ilia

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If you saw this user it's possible that you might fall to the ground and

worship him/her, or spontaneously combust from a sex drive overload.

The Chobit type 666, otherwise known as Ilia, is as implied, evil. This robot is not capable of being smart, pretty or any of the above. In fact, Ilia's sole purpose for Twilght Princess was described by Mr.T as, "The annoying whore of a robot who tries to molest the Hero's horse." And that is the truth.

Ilia's Past[edit]

Ilia was made as a prototype for a new type of Chobit. She was sent to Ordon Village as a mail order bride to Bo. When Bo's wife found Ilia on her doorstep, she opened the box and was immediately blinded by Ilia's decrepit face. She then committed suicide.

Ilia then turned herself on and went about saying Bo's wife had died in childbirth and she was their daughter. This of course, is not logical. Ilia could not have been their daughter, because Bo was in fact a male and his wife was a male crossdresser. It's just not possible.

At first the neighbors were weary and a bit confused, but being the nice neighbors, as well as Most Wanted by the Fashion Police, they went along with it. Bo also threatened them, but only subtly, saying things like, "She IS my daughter. You agree, RIGHT?" And then cracking his knuckles.

Ilia's Performance in Twilight Princess[edit]

No comment.

Ilia's Performance in Twilight Princess Part Two[edit]

Ilia was said to be a main character in Twilight Princess. She failed greatly at proving to be important and was accomplished in proving to be a whore. At one point in the game, Ilia tries to get some attention by quote: "losing her memory". Whether this is true or not, is constantly debated. Although, it is obviously another of Ilia's dirty schemes for attention.

Later in the game, Link restores Ilia's memory. Well, not really since she actually never lost it, so she just acted like she remembered. When in fact, the wooden idol thing Link gave her was actually her remote control to her CD drive, located in her stomach, she had lost awhile back.

Ilia's Abilities[edit]

Although Ilia never does anything in Twilight Princess except being annoying and whoring around, she does have some secret capabilities few people know.

It is said that Ilia can brethe underwater for about a minute. Obviously, this is another of her dirty schemes for attention, acting as if she was drowning, and I think you get the idea.

It is also said that Ilia is able to withstand heat at high temperatures. Nonetheless, this is probably another result of one of her dirty schemes for attention. Besides the fact she is a robot.

The last ability most people do not know about Ilia is; she is capable of frying eggs at lightspeed. Although, they are never fully cooked.

Ilia's Time on Big Brother Hyrule[edit]

Ilia was one of the youngest contestants on Big Brother Hyrule. But no matter, she defied the rules almost ten times and eventually was kicked out.

During her stay she gained at least two more STD's breaking her record of seven. She also managed to steal Link's ball and chain one night. The next morning she nearly killed Zelda with it. But as usual Zelda retailiated with a good clean bitch slap and Ilia ran in the other direction.

The following morning Ilia ate the majority of the crew's twinkies and then blew chunks all over Zelda. This officially started their rivalry.

Once again, Zelda faught back. (After a long shower) Zelda stayed up all night until Ilia had finally stopped whoring around. She then took her stash of tampons and flushed them down the toilet at once. The toilet clogged and when Ilia woke the toilet had overflowed. There was a layer of water over two inches thick.

Ilia was furious about the water and the loss of her tampons. She declared war on Zelda which broke one rule of Big Brother. She then burned down the house, the second rule broken, threatened to kill Zelda, third rule broken. She also held a knife to Zelda's throat (fourth rule broken) then quickly disposed of the knife in Link's clothing. (fifth rule) By the time the police arrived, which is breaking a rule to have police over (sixth broken) Ilia also threatened the police she would whip out her oozies and shoot their heads off. (this is also breaking a law, seventh) Finally, Ilia was carted away by the police, (eigth rule broken) and was sent to jail for two months.


Ilia's Contributions to Society[edit]

Unbeknownst to our modern dog-eat-dog society, Ilia may have contributed to some high level serious things.

Ilia's "Contributions":

1. Ilia has clearly invented a new STD, now titled, LABS. Which stands for: Lets All Be Sluts.

2. Ilia has also made a new record for the Most Number of Horses One Person Raped.

3. Ilia is currently working on a book about a young woman who is rapidly becoming obese and then commits suicide.

4. Ilia now has her own episode on True Hollywood Story entitled, "Life is Hard being the Whore of Ordon Village".

5. Ilia is rumored to be moving in with Michael Jackson, having sex with Tingle, raping a chicken, climbing the Eiffel Tower, sleeping with the almighty Tony the Tiger, accusing Zelda of stealing her apple pie and supporting gay rights by being silent on Gay Day.

6. Ilia has also appeared as a guest star on Walker, Texas Ranger, where she was roundhoused kicked by Chuck Norris. (he didn't touch her, it was fake, she would be dead)

7. Another contribution of Ilia is she is writing a sequel to her first book. The sequel is titled, "Fat isn't Always Bad, as Long as it isn't Me."

8. Prototype 666 is also working on hacking a local store, but for the past five months has not achieved anything. Partly because Malo Mart has nothing TO hack and Ilia is a dumb bitch.

9. Ilia has been repeated dating Paris Hilton, Micheal Jackson. Both claim she gave them the clap and cholera.


Famous People's Famous Quotes about this Not So Famous Thing[edit]

"....."

Link on Ilia.


"What the foosball is that?!

Ganondorf on Ilia's face.


"Cocky little freak!"

Midna on Ilia.


"I LOVE her! She's so cute and awesome and smart and sexy!"

Ilia on Ilia.


"Bitch. Slut. Whore. Tramp. Dyke. Did I leave anything out?"

Vaati on Ilia.


"I don't know her, but I don't like the fucktard."

Dark Link on Ilia.