Imperial Penguin Army

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To many, this will be a blank rectangle...
But You Found God! And he strongly supports this article.


“Hey! They stole my idea! ”

~ Oscar Wilde on Penguin Soldiers

“I love them!!! ”

~ Michele Bachelet on on Penguins

“Oh Em Gee want want want! They're so fuz--AAAgh my eyes! ”

~ 12 year old girls on Penguin Soldiers
The IPA, during the Invasion of Uncyclopedia, allthough Pingu is seen offscreen.

The Imperial Penguin Army (IPA) was created with the the Empire of Antarctica at the same time. It has been in various battles thought out history in which they have always returned victorious.It is headed by King Dedede and some other dude.

It all began when Satan created the Empire of Antartica. Sooner of later, he was overthrown by Jesus, who was pissed off that Satan hadn't created a penguin army, leaving more work for Jesus to do. When Chuck Norris came into power the IPA was fixed and was reinforced with new power such as:

  • 54,000,000 Sherman "Polar Bear" tanks
  • 200,000 military-equipped Hummers, 7800 of which are equipped with antiaircraft guns
  • 20,000,000,000,000 handheld weaponry (ranging from pistols RPGs)
  • 12,000,000 rocket launchers
  • 20,000 Ships
  • 6,000,000,000,000,000 tones of herring and salmon for individual rations

Its opposing enemy is The National Anti-Penguin Association.

War with Chile[edit]

connor buck is the leader of this army and has a larghe dick


President of Chile Michele Bachelet (Pinochet torture victim and Hugo Chavez's secret crush) and Argentinan president Shakira Kirchner (daughter of Juan Peron Hitler and Maradona) like two school girls experimenting with each other, loves those cute adorable penguins.

The war with Chile was "Fast and Furious". The IPA troops lead by the General Suby-Wuby debarked in the southern coasts of Chile. The Chilean troops could do nothing to prevent their total annihilation by only 20 Bears and 1000 Imperial Guards. The southern part of Chile was under control for 8 centuries until the Empire of Antarctica made an agreement with Chile so that the citizens of Antarctica could go there without paying. The casualties for the Chileans were too huge for anybody to be able to count. Quoted General Suby-Wuby "We picked Chile because it looked easy to invade from the ocean. I mean, look at it! Just miles and miles of coastline..."

AIPA[edit]

The Aerial Imperial Penguian Army has been kept in secret to the world threw out the history of the Army. It is also a branch of the IPA.

A soldier escapes a poop bombing

The AIPA is made up of genetically modified Penguins which developed a new type of wing or something themselves cannot explain. Every major bombing in the world has or was done by the AIPA but they gave credit to other nations just to be nice. The AIPA has two type of weapons.

The Acid[edit]

The Acid mostly always has a yellowish color and is mostly hot and has extremely powerful corrosive damage which can destroy almost everything.

Penguin Armies of Doom[edit]

see link.

The Brown Bombing[edit]

The Brown Bombing is practiced in everyday life near the coasts. The AIPA does this to be in shape if a battle happens to chance upon them.

Mecha and ships[edit]

The IPA is know for using various types of mecha and ships all based on birds .such as

infantry mecha[edit]

the weakest penguin mecha it has a snow board for navigation of antarticas snowy climate. the bord can also be sued as a surf board and a hover board. and this hover board DOES work on water.

Fighter[edit]

One penguin aircraft for military use.

Frigate[edit]

Small Airship with room for two fighters

copter[edit]

transforming helicopter figther currently not in production due to copyright issues involving Macross/Robotech.

Battleship[edit]

heavily armed combat vessel.

Heavy fighter[edit]

large fighter with extra armaments.

light cruiser[edit]

Backbone of the pengin air force

heavy cruiser[edit]

Giant warship

Dreadnought[edit]

Second most powerful ship

imperial palace[edit]

The imperial palace is over twenty km tall. it contains a throne room, a council chamber, a senate chamber, a bridge, war room, a power plant, gym, various sports arenas and stadiums, a pool, a spa, a track, a hangar, a cargo bay and other storage rooms, science and research facilities, a prison, a mall, a zoo, a park, rooms and other habitation facilities, tens of thousands of people, farms, factories, foof production facilities,offices, a shitload of weapons, barracks, an airport, a fire department, a police department, a hospital, a post office, schools , a university , restaurants, shops, offices, an engine room, an arcade, a dining hall, a theater, a movie theater, a concert hall, a library, a theme park and an the emperors personal rooms.

Flagship[edit]

the emperors personal transforming ship

Weapons[edit]

The IPA has incredible Weapons of Mass Distraction as well as Mass Destruction. They detonate the Weapons of Mass Distraction, usually in the form of Pamela Anderson, and while all the opposing soldiers are crowded around that, they set off the Weapon of Mass Destruction, killing all the soldiers.

LOL (Life Of Lepers)[edit]

The LOL is simply a cargo box, normal sized. Only it is filled with the decaying limbs of lepers, as well as three ounces of pure leper-virus. This is flown in and used by the AIPA. It causes any who have it land in an area near them to get the leper virus.

OMG (Obscenely Massive Garbage)[edit]

The OMG is a collection of the IPA's largest, slimiest, most disgusting trash. The AIPA flies over the offending town/country/hemisphere and dumps the garbage in the dead center. The toxic fumes spread for miles, killing all sentinent life within a ten-mile radius. Reportedly used to rid the world of Sid Vicious.

ROFL( Ray Oscillation Firing Laser)[edit]

Larg beam weapons that can destroy cities the beams power comes from its alternating between frequencies. this is done via a complex system involving a mirror, vibrator and a regulation sized pool table. it was designed by macgyver himself.

LMAO(Legendary Meteor Arsenal of Orion)[edit]

left over from the milky way war in uses meteors as weapons. it was first used in the milkyway war an, due to a mal function destroyed the penguin home world.

WTF (Weapon of True Force)[edit]

The WTF is a poison to be put into the food supplies of the opposing army. It causes all who ingest it to be infected with a sudden desire to sit down in front of the nearest TV and watch all Star-Wars-related movies and episodes, therefore leaving plenty of time for the IPA to invade and kill all enemies*.

--*This weapon was invented during the DestroyOwnGalaxyForTheHellOfIt War when the penguins were still in outer space. It is now used as a means of pissing off people who don't know what they're talking about.

Legendary Veteran Generals[edit]

Seen here, a subordinate learns the price for failure.
  • King Dedede:This fat idiot was surprisingly one of their best generals.Know to his enimies as King Dededededededededededededede.Created the Dreamland Antarctica treaty in the year 2057. He was later assassinated by an unknown pink puffball after the Strawberry Shortcake incident of 2063.
  • Suby-Wuby : General Suby-Wuby has long been the most successful general in the IPA due to the fact that he lead the troops to the easy victory against Chile with only 6 casualties. He is also known for being the most disciplinary general ever.
  • Penguin Von Whiskey : Penguin was a very successful leader of the AIPA. He was the leader of the squadron who let the first nuclear bomb over Hiroshima and has since then done all of those bombings.
  • Admiral Pingu: Well known for his legendary battle cry of "NUG NUG!", Admiral Pingu and Rear Admiral Pinga command the naval forces of the Imperial Penguin Army. Along with cohort, subsitute sarge, and sub aquatic stealth specialist Robbie, Pingu commands a fleet of 30-odd battleships along with three submarines. With Corpral Pingi, Commander Pingo, and Sargent Pingg, he commands thousands of tanks and dustructive soldiers. Pingu was well known for leading the aquatic forces of the Army in the Invasion of Uncyclopedia against the evil forces of Wikipedia. He would later fight bravely in the Noodle Incident against the evil pasta.
  • Cody : Although a fairly unremarkable lieutenant, his knowledge of equatorial stratagems became useful after he led the entire cast of Happy Feet to victory in South America.
  • Lord Pengvin of Frankenstein : Head of division 40 which spies on penguin traitors fraternizing with the enemy.
  • Penguin Bonaparte: He was a Penguin military and political leader who is considered one of the most influential figures in European history. Penguin Bonaparte scored major victories with a modernized Penguin army and über strong Battle.net tactics. His campaigns are studied at military academies the world over, and he is regarded as one of history's greatest and deadliest commanders.
  • Griffin: Well known for his bravery in the Bay of Pigs Invasion in Cuba. He was captured by Fidel Castro but bravely escaped. His life was dramatised in the Coleman Francis film Red Zone Cuba.

Places Pwn3d by the IPA[edit]