Independence

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For the performing art, see Independance.

Independence is the process by which an individual, group, or nation may live without fear of having to work ever again. Independence is reached by using endless amounts of expendable labor to do menial tasks while receiving minimal wages. Once independence is reached by the leader, the old labor force dies of old age, disease, or famine, while leaving an overabundance of offspring to take their place. This creates "Supply and Demand," ensuring a free market economy.

Kings, Emperors, and Politicians are loathe to lose their independence. Wars are generally fought to maintain this independence, while expending their surplus population. No great civilization has ever risen to such great heights without the drive and justification for independence by its leaders.

History of Independence[edit]

  • Egyptians build the pyramids. Pharoahs gain independence.
  • Slaves work the fields. Plantation owners gain independence.
  • Millions are exterminated in death camps. Hitler gains independence.
  • Immigrants cross the border to work below minimum wage. Farmers gain independence.
  • Workers in other countries are paid a couple cents by a major US corporation. Walmart gains independence.
  • Family Owned buisnesses get destroyed, Walmart may not get independence,but it , wait it does!

Independence Day[edit]

July 2nd, they arrived. July 3rd, they attacked. July 4th, we kicked their asses. Hard.

Independence Day is a great example of where Independence failed. It is named in an ironic sense, as Britain failed to establish independent sovereignty by utilizing its own colonies. Therefore, Independence Day is viewed as a tremendous failure. This is why every 4th of July people get completely plastered and set everything on fire.

Unfortunately, due to our lovely 43rd President, the British decided to revoke everything we fought for. In An open Letter to the U.S.A the British officially proclaimed that the U.S.A. is once again a member of their tea party. Like they can do that...