Infinity Bomb
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| Somebody set up us the bomb. For great justice take off every 'zig'. |
| WARNING | |
| This article is probably much too highbrow for your petit-bourgeois sense of humor. Don't expect vulgar cracking-ups or sophomoric non-sequiturs.
Just sit down with your pipe and let a gleeful smile form in the unadulterated corner of your mouth. If that still doesn' nudge your little gray cells into comprehending the sophisticated witticisms, go pick up a book, you dumbtard! | ||
“We once made a spacecraft with no wings, we called it zig, it came in handy when somebody set up
us the bomb”
~ Captain on A.D. 2101
An Infinity Bomb is the most powerful explosive known to mathematicians. Because of this, it is currently being researched by several terrorist organisations, such as Al Qaeda, those Damn Fundamentalist Christians, Fox News and liberal terrorists.
Contents |
[edit] Construction
An Infinity Bomb is created by dividing by zero. This will cause an explosion that will wreck irretrievable destruction and cause the world to enter into a state of lawlessness in which anything is possible.
For further details, see How to Divide by Zero.
[edit] Infinity Events
Explosions of Infinity Bombs (known as 'Infinity Events') have been triggered by stupid schoolchildren who didn't listen to their teachers. In such inexperienced hands the fallout from the events was small, usually backfiring on the perpetrator causing him/her to momentarily feel clever as they have invented a method of proving that 1 = 2, but subsequently crying when the teacher points out what a complete fool the student is.
As a result of the threat created by such an awsome weapon, calculators and writing instruments are banned on airplanes. It was recently discovered that terrorists planned to use their fingers and liquid smuggled onto flights to write an equation midflight that involved a division by zero, resulting in an Infinity Event. In response to this, liquids were also banned from flights. Critics, however, point out that until fingers are also banned, the threat remains.
[edit] Effects
Apart from explosion-related events, Infinity Bombs can also result in:
- parallel lines meeting (hence are a useful weapon for destroying trains)
- 1 equalling 2 (see above)
- in fact, all finite numbers approaching equality ('cause they can)
- things becoming EXACTLY equal in temperature
- trigonometric functions, er, still doing that periodic thing they do
- and black holes being described in terms of quantum mechanics and general relativity
Naturally, these are pretty screwy, though, admittedly, less screwy than the universe unravelling.
