International Ameobic Birthday

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August 26th. Because ameobas are created by splitting off another ameoba (mitosis), and have little intelligence as a rule, they're never quite sure after a split if they've just been born, or if they've been around since January, or 1846, or indeed the Creation of the Universe, and as such have no idea of when their real birthdays are. To solve this problem, August 26th was designated the official birthday of all ameobas by their UN Representative in 1963, "The Summer of Dissentry". On this day, ameobas can be seen through a microscope wiggling excitingly, consuming vast quantities of illegal nutrients, and coming round to discover themselves splitting with someone they've never even met. The Ameobic Birthday is not celebrated by ameobas who are Jehovah's Witnesses, because Jehovah's Witnessess do not celebrate birthdays, even internationaly designated ones.

This holiday grew in importance when scientists suggested that ugly people reproduce by mitosis if they cannot find sex.