International School of Prague
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“I like cheese.”
~ Satan on his favorite earthly food.
“Fucked, I was.”
~ Yoda on his experience at ISP.
“ISP is motherfucking awesome, Sharooon!”
~ Ozzy Osbourne on the International School of Prague.
| International School of Prague | |
| Official Name | Publicly Renound As a Godly Undertaking for Everyone's sakes |
| Publicly Known As | " "(People do not speak of the abomination) |
| Motto | The world is our oyster, except I ate that oyster. My bad. |
| Establishment | Tomorrow |
| President | The late President of the Ukelele Players, George W. Bush |
| Location | Variable |
| School Song | The Arsonist |
| Mascot | The Arsonator |
The International School of Prague, or ISP, is an international school in Prague, Czech Republic. It is well know to be the place where the Berlin Wall fell despite the name. People also remember Prague for the rapist, Vaclav the Ripper, the Czech grand-nephew of Jack the Ripper. Vaclav decided to renounce his murderous lifestyle before becoming the President of the Czech Republic. Unfortunately, he returned to his killing ways, and killed himself, but before he did that, he managed to kill himself in the future, using his future killing machine, but his future self had also killed his past self, using his past killing machine, thus destroying the possibility that he would die, but by killing himself in the past, he killed himself.
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[edit] History
The International School of Prague can trace its history back to the 12th century, when the Crusades reached Prague due to the lack of sense of direction. The Crusades had a strategy meeting about their plan for slaughtering Muslims (although there weren't many Muslims in Prague at that time), on a high and silent hill. After murdering approximately 10 thousand of white bastards innocent people, they came to a conclusion that they got to a wrong place. In apology for their atrocity, they built a school on the hill and bla bla bla (apparently the author got bored of it at this point).
[edit] Organization
Since the Velvet Revolution, though I am not quite sure why velvet was involved in any way, but it might be because all the Czech people wore velvet underwear during the revolution because it caused extra comfort, allowing them to revolt against the anti-velvet Communists. Wait, that sentence was not supposed to finish. This paragraph needs to be more organized. Maybe if the paragraph was organized in an essay format, that might work. Ok, I will begin using the essay format...now! Fuck. The paragraph is over.
[edit] Campus
Surprisingly, the school is not actually in the original Prague(located in the Czech Republic), but in Prague, Oklahoma, USA. Interestingly enought though, if you were to go to the supposed address of the school in Prague, there are lots of pieces of cheese. These pieces of cheese was exchanged for the school building by the Mayor of Prague and the Ultimate Ruler of the Netherworld in Oklahoma, because when the dude from Oklahoma said cheeses, the Mayor of Prague thought he was getting Jesus. An easy mistake by any means.
The actual campus of the school is a friendly one, but only if you are friends with that girl from The Ring, or Freddy Krueger. The school is infact covered with the blood of many of the students, as is the tradition of new students (See School Traditions). The interior is much more cheerful, however, with the walls covered with the paintings of Satan himself, one of the alumni.
If you happen to enter into the main courtyard, you may come accross a replica of the school, which has a replica of the school in the main courtyard, which has a replica of the school in the main courtyard, which has a replica of the school in the main courtyard, which has a replica of the school in the main courtyard, which has a replica of the school in the main courtyard, which has a replica of the school in the main courtyard, which has a replica of the school in the main courtyard, which has a replica of Satan. The likeness, however, is lost, for at 1/3423ths of an inch, it is difficult to see the likeness of anything.
[edit] Academics
The variety of topics that are available at ISP are quite remarakable. One of the favourites of the students is Unhealth. In this class, students are allowed to do all the things that teachers and parents usually do not allow children to do. Examples of what is done in this class is video game playing marathons, eating a constant supply of whipped-cream, and watching Cartoon Network. But the basics of school are also included in the vigorous academic society of this prestigious school. There is also math, PE (where students are forced to jump out of tall buildings, and try to live), history (where students learn about the history of the teachers family), and Bob. ISP has even been awarded the award for Teaching.
[edit] School Traditions
One longstanding tradition that has been a part of ISP for a long time now is the staining of the walls with the blood of the students. This is done when a student first joins the school, leaves the school, when they die (3,786 deaths and counting) and every first wednesday of the month.
Others have been known to include:
- Slitting the wrists of your feet
- Castrating the Principal on the last day of the year (this is surprisingly difficult if a principal is returning)
- Eating live jellyfish on Halloween, Christmas, and weekdays
By far though, the most anticipated tradition is the hurling of potatoes onto the nerd of the year. The nerd of the year is decided after five days of gruelling exams.
[edit] Student Life
As its name provides a clue, ISP is an international school, and therefore students' nationalities are quite varied. Although each student spends his/her life in any way he/she wants, there are certain patterns of lifestyle depending on where they come from. Here are some examples:
[edit] America
Americans don't really come to school. All they do is to stay home, sit in front of computer, and cry when someone posts a negative comment on their MySpace.
[edit] Canada
There are no Canadians in ISP, because Canada is technically the 52nd state of America. (Mexico Puerto Rico was 51st.)
[edit] Korea
There are technically no Koreans in ISP. Neither North nor South. They are collectively known as "The Asians."
[edit] Japan
The Japanese students at ISP do not actually attend the school, but exist there by using telepathic means.
[edit] Russia and all 'stans
Once again, there are technically none of these people at ISP, for they are actually all still Soviets.
[edit] Belgium
Belgium simply does not exist. Therefore Belgian people do not exist either. See this site.
[edit] Sweden
There are several Swedes at ISP. They are known as the Swedish people. Everyone talks to them. I'm telling you, everyone.
[edit] England
The English at ISP are short, hairy creatures with low brows and an incapacity to speak beyond gutteral grunts. They are easily amused by fire and spend their weekends making crude shelters, hunting large mammals, and engaging in intertribal warfare based on their soccer affiliation.
[edit] Spain
People from Thpain, Mexico, and Texath (the Hith-panics) thpeak in a thtrange manner, tho no one talkth to them, tho no one really knowth how they thpeak.
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