Interstate 78

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Interstate 78
Interstate 78 shield
Part of the Jerry Seinfeld Interstate Highway System
West End: Harrisburg...ish?
Major Junctions: I-81, I-476 I476.png, I-95 I95.PNG
East End: Comes to a screeching halt in New York

Interstate 78 was created for the purpose of exiling convicts from New York and New Jersey to the convict settlements in the middle of Pennsyltucky. The number 78 is in honor of the number of years of the prison sentence. The journey on I-78 west for civilization to nowhere is a forgettable one, but one from which most people never return, as convicts over time forget about the existence of Jews, Italians, or black people, and therefore can never again function as a New Yorker. Convicts over time also forget to ignore fellow white people as they did in their own home.


Driving the Road[edit]

A sign advising New Yorkers dumbasses to read. Shiny colors used for effect.

Traveling west on I-78 commits yourself to a gradual exit from civilization. The exact location of the last civilization along the road is debated, but is believed by many to be somewhere near Allentown, though educated New Yorkers claim it is only as far as Newark.

Travel guides recommend that to truly experience Pennsylvania, you should take off your seat belt soon after crossing the border. Inevitably, you will run out of gas and stop at a gas station somewhere in Pennsylvania. The shock comes when you read the tattoo on the gas station worker, which may read something like "Rape Rox". Horrified, you turn back and return to your suburban bore that you call home.

Really, Really Dumb Auxiliary Routes[edit]

I'm not an expert in urban planning, but would you ever try to build an interstate through here?

The auxiliary routes of I-78 constitute some of the greatest dumbfuckery in all of the Seinfeld Interstate System. They consist of:

  • Interstate 278 - The Brooklyn-Queens Expressway - no problems here. But then you have...
  • ...Interstate 478 - The Brooklyn Battery Tunnel. Seriously! It's it's own interstate!
  • Interstate 678 - The Van Wyck Expressway. Again, not so bad, but...
  • ..."Interstate" 878 - The approach to JFK airport. Not worthy to be called and interstate.

So what is so wrong with all of these (besides trying to make tunnels and ramps into interstates)? None of them connect to I-78, so they are all aborted orphaned wrong. This is the direct result of some moron planning to build I-78 right through the middle of Lower Manhattan and through the rest of New York.


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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Interstate 78.
Interstate Highway marker Interstate Highways to as High as I can Count Interstate Highway marker
0 I000.png 1 I001-1.png 2 I002.png 3 I003.jpg 4 Interstate4.PNG 5 Interstate5.PNG 6 I006.png 7 I007i009.png 8 Interstate8.PNG 9 I007i009.png 10 Interstate10.PNG 11 I011.png 12 Interstate12.PNG 13 I013.png 14 I014.png 15 Interstate15.PNG 16 Interstate16.PNG 17 Interstate17.PNG 18 I018.png 19 Interstate19.PNG
20 I020.png 21 22 I022.png 23 24 I024.png 25 I025.png 26 I026.png 27 I027.png 28 29 I029.png 30 I030.png 31 32 33 I033.png 34 I034.png 35 I035.png 36 37 I037.png 38 80 39 I039.png
40 I040-1.png 41 I041.png 42 I042.png 43 I043.png 44 I044.png 45 I045.png 46 47 48 I048.png 49 I049.png 50 I050.png 51 I051.png 52 53 54 I054.png 55 I055.png 56 I056.png 57 I057.jpg 58 59 I059.png
60 I060.png 61 I061.png 62 63 64 I064.png 65 I065.png 66 I066.jpg 67 I067.png 68 69 I069.png 70 I070.png 71 72 73 74 75 I075.png 76 I076.png 77 I077.png 78 I078.png 79
80 I080.png 81 82 I082.png 83 84 85 I085.png 86 I086.png 87 88 89 90 I090.png 91 I091.png 92 93 94 I094.png 95 I95.PNG 96 I096.png 97 I097.png 98 99 I-99.svg
Higher than I can count  100 I100.png 101 102 I102.png 135 33 180 I180.png 238 476 I476.png 666 I666.png 678 777 I777.png 878 999 I999.png
The Outsiders  ? -1 In001.png IC-69 Ic069.png H-1 H-2 H-3 H-201 A-1 A-2 A-3 A-4 PRI-1 PRI-2 PRI-3
Lists  Main - Auxiliary - Suffixed - Business - Proposed - Unsigned
Gaps - Intrastate - Interstate standards - Replaced