Interstella 5555

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“What the hell is Interstella 5555? ”

~ Brian Ha on Interstella 5555

“Sanjaya is a Faggot! ”

~ Brian Ha on Interstella 5555

File:The smurfs.jpg

“Just because I'm in this movie, doesn't mean I don't have the right to interpret the songs that I'm singing. And just because I'm in this movie, doesn't mean I hate, um...I mean love Japanese. ”

~ George Bush on Interstella 5555

“This isn't my pencil! ”

~ Brian Ha on Interstella 5555

“We love stupid faggot Americans! Shithead America is our favorite country! They so gay! ”

~ Japanese on Interstella 5555

“They can't possibly hate us. ”

~ Scientists on Interstella 5555

Interstella 5555 is a giant music video created by the Japanese to send messages in. The numbers that appear in the dialogue are changed between viewings to change the message shown. For example, the number 5, which appears several times in the title, seems to represent pain. Whoever watches the movie and sees the title has their head blown up.


Interstella 5555 follows the story of four band members, which have dressed up like the smurfs to appeal both to little kids and pedophiles. The first message of the movie is said to be "34445" which the Japanese have informed us means, "give everyone a hug, and don't forget to hug everyone." We immediately accepted this as fact, and the Japanese went back into their laboratories to build things that they wouldn't tell us about.

The Characters in the series Interstella 5555, are not characters at all, they are things. The scary thing in the Series Interstella 5555, is if you say the name of each character backwards, or by backmasking we say, they each are a name of a American Chocolate product. For example, one of the characters Muikahiashatia Horomontolimaro, or in the American version, Paul Jackson, is said too be pronounced backwards "CRUNCH" , or in Japanese, Dieth fom Abuv.

This is only a myth, some say its a bigger legend than Bigfoot, some say, it is Bigfoot. I am told by, "a friend," to stop, so I cam ordered to stop, see im stopping. The next topic in characters, are who plays the stupid smurf, or who plays the Leiij Monja, or the American character, Fred Anderson.

Here are the list of characters and actors who play them.
5555 / Morbon - Nicholas Cage
Leiij Monja / Fred Anderson - Beyonce
Stella / 5T311/-\ - Samuel L. Jackson
Muikahiashatia Horomontolimaro / Paul Jackson - Jesus 
Komonograph / Mister - Tom Cruise Dressed as a Bottle of Shampoo (Required to play Komonograph)
White Girl / Meatball - Adam Sandler
Jimbo / Q (CYOO) - Hirihito Shimogo (DECEASED) now George W. Bush 
Hiran Gong / Daniel - Loc Gonzalas and German Gherring
Baryl / Darrel - Paris Hilton
Aperguis / Lmaoburgers - The Ring Girl (DECEASED) now Dane Cook
God / God - God and his brother in law Mel Gibson
Ji Bow / Doctor Jans - Doctor House
Ji Tolo / Doctor Crayon - Kobe Bryant
Ji Cholo / Doctor Mexican - Bobby Lee
Haung Ji Blood / Heart Surgeon Howard - John Travolta
Ghau Mai Thao Jon Kim Uah My / One Who Stands with Great Pasture - Cedric the Entertainer 
Pa / Jim - Howard O. Edward the IV of Arabia
Lenard / KHAO MAI - Steven Hawking
Hi Og / News Reporter Leo Bok - LL B (DECEASED) Ludacris

These Characters are all paid high amounts of money, except for God, John Travolta, And Samuel L. Jackson, who are unstoppable and were forced to join Interstella 5555, because they are, well I don't know why...

Interstella 5555 and DotA[edit]

The Japanese have been known to send messages about Operation Destroy only the Americans, but us Americans have translated that message into DotA, the most popular game on Warcraft 3. This could mean that they want to go on DotA, use the Sand King and send all their troops to find "Weapons of Mass Destruction." Some experts have remarked that maybe the Japanese want to destroy Americans.

"What if the Japanese want to destroy Americans?"

~Experts on DotA

However, this can not be possible, because Japan can not possibly have anything against America. After all we did for them, oppressing them, beating them up, stealing hot tubs, how could they want to destroy us?

Interstella 5555 and Kim Jong-Il[edit]

After the leak about Japanese dominating the United States through DotA, a new outbreak has arrived straight from Kim Jong-Il himself:

"I will become the legendary Sand King, and use Sandstorm in Japan, killing every civilian in my sight! United States no good fo' me, no good fo' you! Maybe I can get Russia on my team, we can also dominate France!" ~Kim Jong Il.

Until any further notice, if you see a giant Japanese Scorpion, and the Soviet Union, please run.

Adolf Hitler and Interstella 5555[edit]

Interstella 5555 was Hitler's favorite movie when he was little. He would watch it every day until his dad told him to go outside and play with all the other children on Nazi lane. He had several friends, including Loc, Ka, Filef, and Ereec. He also had multiple friends named Nazi. Hitler's favorite part of Interstella 5555 was the singing. He memorized every song and made his parents sing them to him every night before he went on his killing sprees. One of the numbers that appear most in Interstella 5555 is 4925, which spells out N. A. Z. I. However, we believe that Hitler's childhood had no influence on his future life, including anything to do with Nazis.

See also: Adolf Hitler's favorite movie:


The story of Interstella 5555 is told through song, which makes it easier for Japanese people to find numbers. Japanese people are able to completely ignore music in order to find numbers hidden inside. Below are the songs in Interstella 5555, the interpretation of the song, and what the secret message was.

One More Time[edit]

This song seems to be a parody on Britney Spear's "Hit Me Baby One More Time." This song seems to imply that the Japanese are either going to spear their women or rape every American in the entire world. We are currently not sure if we have them mixed around or not.


This song seems to have a very straightforward meaning. The Japanese are implying that Greenland is using their knowledge of aerodynamics to scientifically create a flying chicken to lay eggs containing messages. The number found in this one is 7994, which is interpreted to mean "flying chicken lay egg." Of course, the same word for chicken is also used for plane, and egg can also mean bomb.

Digital Love[edit]

This song seems to indicate "cybering" an activity done by online game players to female online game players, which are said to be an endangered species. The number found in this song is 2212, which is supposed to mean "We are going to do it." We are guessing that this means the Japanese people are going to cyber on an online game. Somes games possibly up for cybering by the Japanese include, Gunbound Revolution, World of Warcraft, and the ever so popular, Maple Story (Nexon likes to secretly change male accounts to female accounts so you think your raping a cute little Japanese 13 year old, when your really raping a 40 year old man who's been married 43 times.)

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger[edit]

While this song could imply that something is being rebuilt to be harder, better, faster, and stronger, it makes much more sense as a sexual song. Can't you just imagine someone crying out all those words?


This song seems to be a biography of every Japanese person in Japan. This is proven to be true due to the number found here, 1111, which clearly means biography. It also proves that the Japanese seem to call themselves Crescendolls.


Obviously, this song means that the Japanese are threatening us with their secret night vision. Whoever didn't know they had night vision is a dumbass, because the Japanese keep secrets terribly. They even went as far as to post the project on every billboard overlooking every highway or freeway in the United States.


This is one of the more threatening songs. In addition to the title, the number 08327498273 is used, meaning, "If you don't tell us that we are sexy, we will rip off your heads and use them to clean the teeth of our pet rodents with rabies." The title tells us that they are talking to superheroes. Ever since Japan took an interest in Superman and Batman, we had seen this coming, but now our suspicions are confirmed.

High Life[edit]

This song has to do with old people, and their tendency to be untrustable. As an example, President George Dubya Bush once had an entire tribe of old people in his attic. They would walk slowly toward Bush's room to steal his blankets and underwear, but dawn would come too quickly, and they would have to hobble back to their original spots with their walkers.

Something About Us[edit]

Something about them just doesn't seem right.


Ah, of course. They must be voyagers. These two songs work together to tell us that those people must be voyagers.

Veridis Quo[edit]

This song appears to be in Latin-Japanese, a language forgotten by all. Since no one understands this song, President Bush made up something about weapons of mass destruction and inserted it here.

“Them darned Latin-Japanese people stole my blankets! ”

~ George Dubya Bush on Interstella 5555

“What if they don't steal your blankets? ”

~ Brian Dubya Ha on George Bush's lunacy

Short Circuit[edit]

This song pokes fun at the tendencies of moths and people from 1776 to try to touch electricity and shock themselves. This song has been known to short circuit everything around it, which is why Microsoft used this song to make their Windows systems.

Face to Face[edit]

This is the Crescendolls' favorite position during [insert event here]. They always do this, no matter what. President Bush thinks it is very odd, since he thinks he invented the position. He wants to sue Japan for stealing this idea from him.

More on songs will come soon after President Bush tries to decipher more messages.


It has been proven that George Bush likes hanging out with the Japanese a lot. They like to discuss political secrets, but the Japanese people merely assure Bush that his golfing is much better than theirs.

The songs in this movie were performed by Daft Punk. They apparently were formerly very daft punks in the street.

The characters were not intentionally blue. The creator spilled blue paint all over the pictures and didn't have enough money to erase all of it, so he just left the blue on all the skin.

Hot tubs are a very important source of energy for the Japanese.

Brian Ha has actually said something similar to all of those quotes when asked about Interstella 5555.

Where did all the Interstella Go?[edit]

2/28 of 2007

After hearing news that the series Intertstella 5555 was getting shut off because Animal Planet™ was getting tired of finding them at 2 in the morning and having to kick them out. But does this mean the end of many careers from Interstella's cast? Mel Gibson might have to go back to working in the UPS, and Ludacris is just stunned. His rapping career is still in gold, but it will be a big change for him.

This is because he said that in 1999 when they first started being a news reporter on Interstella (Hi Og / News Reporter Leo Bok), it was the best thing that ever happened to him, and he needs more experiences with Japanese anime shows such as, "Blue People."

Ludacris in a Interview

== Exclusive Interview with Ludacris ===
Interviwer - Serj Tankian - System of a Down Vocalist
Subject - Ludacris, how do you react
Ludacris is being interviewed
Serj - What was life before Interstella 5555?
Ludacris - Man get out'a here!
Serj - S-
Ludacris - Dont give me that Sir thing! (Shoots gun at Serj, Hitting him in the Head)
Serj - Why did you do that!?!
Ludacris - Do you know what?
Serj - What!?
Ludacris - There's a bullet in your Fucking Head!!!! (points finger at Serj)
Serj - Oh, ok, so?
Ludacris - Ya'll get out'a here befo' I get crayon's on ya'll ass's! (tries grabbing crayons)
Serj- Wooooooaoaahaahahhhhhhh!
Ludacris - Walmart, Low Prices, Always..... Always (Winks at Camera and gives thumbs up)

This was a exclusive interview from Ludacris, it was a absolutely amazing journey.

More on interstella coming up.


Parts of this article may be inaccurate, due to the Japanese wanting to hide their military secrets. Or maybe they're hiding a giant hot tub somewhere.