Invasion of the Body Squeezers

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Taglines:
  • The Earth is about to have the life squeezed out of it...
Writer Douglas Adams
Starring
Producers Spike Milligan, Eric Idle
Director Spike Milligan
Runtime Eighty (80) minutes
Language English, American
Distributed by BBC
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Invasion of the Body Squeezers is a 1956 science-fiction movie by Spike Milligan, the well-known thriller director who would later go on to make Tentacles and Howard the Duck. This was his third post-war movie.

Plot[edit]

The movie opens in a police station somewhere in America, where Quince Questley (Sonnet the Hedgehog) is being detained by Police Inspector Melvin "Oy Vey!" Goyimsky (Mel Brooks). Questley, who refuses to pipe down even under a sedative, keeps raving about the end of the world, as most Christian preachers tend to do when they knock back the communion wine, but Goyimsky invites a psychiatrist named Doctor Papers (Stephen Hawking) to analyse Quince and to hear his story, and this is where the movie really starts.

Quince had just returned home from Kazakhstan and getting the patronage of Premier Borat Sagdiyev for a new pipeline to pump tourists into Kazakhstan from America. He is greeted by his fiance, Pepper Salt (Cameron Diaz), who tells him that strange things have been going on in their home town of Perfectville, Utah. Everybody is going around hugging everybody, and everyone seems to be happy any content. Quince just says that The Beatles have been at it again, and leaves things be.

Later on, Quince and Pepper are given some new pillows by Harry Fleshman (Hugh Laurie) as a sign of goodwill to neighbours. Quince accepts them, but immediately suspects that something is wrong, especially when the pillows turn into little white gremlins that try and corner them in the house. The gremlins miss, and fly out of a window, where Quince and Pepper watch as they hug a passing duck, possessing its body as a result.

This pillow looks mighty suspicious...

Concerned, Quince and Pepper head off to find the local surgeon, Doctor Ben Dover (Albert Einstein), and tell him what has happened. He takes an interest, and decides to examine the problem. Outside, the three notice that Mayoress Susie Susan (Kylie Minogue) is handing out free pillows for all. The trio suspect that the Mayoress has already been taken over, and decide to confront Fleshman, who is the main man handing out the alien pillows.

Quince and Pepper break into the apartment, just in time to see Dr. Dover stumble into one of the "pillow gremlins" and be taken over. There, Fleshman is waiting, and explains that they are an alien race caled the Body Squeezers, who inhabit the dying world of Cushionus IV, who have come to Earth to take over the bodies of human beings in order to survive the atmosphere that is hostile to them but acceptable to humans.

The Pillow Gremlins attack!

Quince and Pepper fight their way out, dodging Body Squeezers and pillow gremlins as they try to escape from Perfectville, with stock footage of angry mobs following after them. The couple reach the Craggy Mountains outside of town, and wait until darkness. Unfortunately, Pepper becomes one of the Body Squeezers after being possessed by a pillow gremlin hiding in the cave. Desperate, Quince flees towards the Highway, and gets run over by a truck traveling at high speed. The Body Squeezers leave him, knowing that nobody will believe him.

Back in the police station, Doctor Papers tells Goyimsky that it sounds a convincing story, especially as there is an overturned truck outside with pillow gremlins clambering all over it. Goyimsky telephones the state guard, and we end by seeing Quince leaning against a wall, sweating like Porky Pig in a sauna.

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Full Cast[edit]

Cultural Insignificance[edit]

Although not the most familiar film to diehard fans of Spike Milligan, Invasion is signficant to sad geeks in basements for being one of the first movies to have aliens in them, the others being Flesh Gordon and The Day the Earth Didn't Move Around Very Much. Before then, most movies just had actors dressed up like the Romans because the budgets were that small.

Unlike the remake, which is absolute crap and not worth a second thought, the original Invasion is a milestone in cinema, at least according to most nerds in the world, when in fact, it's just another movie with not all that much to cheer about.

1978 Remake[edit]

Scenes 6 through to 191 of the remake, just to prove how crap it is.

There was a remake of this movie made in 1978 and was written and directed by Gordon Brown, so it was bound to be shit. Instead of Perfectville, Utah, the setting was now Euroville, Belgium, and the characters of Quince Questley and Pepper Salt were replaced by Euro European and Bertha Brussels (played by Tom Cruise and Paris Hilton respectively).

The remake was an absolute bomb, garnering a measly $1.50 worldwide, and would be the only sci-fi movie made by Gordon Brown until Alien Movie, where he was just kept at the back out of people's way.

Trivia[edit]

  • The original ending was for Doctor Papers to invite Quince to sit down, and Quince to be taken over by a pillow gremlin, but the BBC said in the test screening that it was shit, and so Milligan was forced to re-shoot the ending.
  • The movie was made under the working title of The Day of the Pillows.
  • The character of Pepper Salt is based on Your Mom.
  • Nobody watches this movie anymore because none of the TV channels will ever put on anything good to watch.

See Also[edit]