Invisible Pink Unicorn
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The Invisible Pink Unicorn is also the fastest growing religion within entire world, despite constant attempts at stemming the massive amounts of children who see these Pink Unicorns. Symptoms are similar to that of Christian children who think Jesus is talking to them, except usually not as severe.
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[edit] Categories of Severity
- 1-The Victim will see faint shades of pink on walls. A Once in a lifetime experience.
- 2-The Victim will see a pink moving blur on the walls. Will Occur Few Times in the Victim's Life
- 3-The Victim will see a pink silhouette of a unicorn on the walls. Will Once a year on average.
- 4-Same as Level 3, Except that sounds can be heard. Will Occur Once a Month on average.
- 5-A Pink Figure will Appear in the room. Will Occure Twice a Month on average.
- 6-An Actual Unicorn Will Appear to be in the Room. Will Occur Once A Week.
- 7-The Victim will be riding the Unicorn. Will Occur Daily.
[edit] Who Experiences this Phenomenon?
- Crack Addicts
- Girls Under 9 Years Old
- Regular Unicorns
- Clippit
- People with Dyslexia.
- Homosexual Pandas
- El Presidente
- Pink
[edit] Is it Real?
No. After years of research, scientists have concluded that this phenomenon is, in fact, unreal. It is a hallucanation caused by dreams of unicorns. Crack Addicts may have this because they are high. Face it, unicorns are not real. Stop having fantasies. Magic ain't real, kid. Do you imagine God is real as well? Face it! Those dreams are no good either.
[edit] Wait? Oscar Wilde saw Pink Unicorns?
Indeed he did. In Category 4, actually. As a kid, he believed in unicorns. This all changed after his visit to Disney World. This is his personal secret, in fact. He leaked it on his MySpace.
[edit] Remedies
For some unknown reason, Eating pork can decrease the severity of the phenomena. This was first discovered when Jack Thompson was eating pork with his family. He had seen pink unicorns in his room once a week. But after eating a ham dinner, he only saw silhouettes of unicorns on the walls. He ate more pork and it was completely gone.
Some fools believe this actually PROVES the existence of the Invisible Pink Unicorn, because She doesn't like pepperoni on Her pizza, and thus consumption of pork would ward Her off. This just doesn't make any sense though. Who doesn't like pepperoni?
Going to Disney World for a week can also decrease the chances of this Phenomena; as demonstrated by Oscar Wilde.
in addition, eating spagetti also decreases the chances of seeing this. This may be down to The invisible pink unicorn's long standing rivalry with the flying spagetti monster. They are not friends.
