Invisible Tartan Elephants
The Invisible Tartan Elephant is a Tartan Elephant that is invisible. The Invisible Tartan Elephant has come to be accepted by leading scientists as the only possible explanation for TFT (Tartan Fallacy Theory).
Sightings of the Invisible Tartan Elephant
No-one has yet seen the Invisible Tartan Elephant, perhaps because it is invisible. This of course raises the question that if it is Invisible then can it also be tartan or vice-versa? What happens when it is trapped in a dark box?
All I want to know is, can we still feed it peanuts? NO They are deathly allergic to peanuts and will get horrible flaming gas.
What is the Invisible Tartan Elephant?
Speculation is rife on the nature of this form of elephant. For the purposes of this article I enlisted the help of a 6 year old for unbiased insight:
|I think it is a big grey thingy, but it's Tartan and you can only see it with... when you're wearing a cake on your head...or a tractor. And it makes a loud noise when it sneezes or gets hurt because it doesn't like stubbing its toe when walking to the bathroom in the middle of the night but people don't see it when it makes the loud noise because they aren't wearing cakes on their heads. Or tractors. So they can't see it walking to the bathroom and stubbing its toe.|
The elephant only shows itself to rednecks, because they always smell like liquor and no one wil believe them anyways. The rednecks do not mind being abducted because of the free plane trips. The elephants trample 200,000,000,000 people a year but they just think they tripped because they can't see the elephant that trampled them.
Relatives of the Invisible Tartan Elephant
The Invisible Tartan Elephant has no relatives because they all died in the 9/11 Bombings. Except for the butter fly which they descended from in the year 0. No one has seen this common ancestor because they are also invisible.
This article is too close to the TRUTH!
Citizens should begin to feel uneasy or bemused now. Fnord.