Ipswich Town - Ipshit Town

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

General Overview[edit]

A sporting club based in South Norfolk deriving support from the single toothed care in the community patients living in the area between North Essex and north, often referred to as a cess pool.

Club History[edit]

Ipshit were founded as a hospital team fielding patients with a range of mental disorders. With so many people with mental disorders living in the Cess Pool area around their ground, they were quick to capitalise and started charging for entrance and no sooner had they said "I sleep with my sister", Ipshit Town Football Club were born.

Known as the Gay Farmers, Ipswich wore blue tops and brown shorts until 1947 when new incontinance drugs were introduced meaning that the faecally soaked shorts could be replaced with more calming white ones.

The club saw great success in the early 1960's, with promotion to the First Division being followed up by Championship success under the charge of their most famous manager, Harry Ramsden. Harry later went on to greater success when he became England manager, during which time he became known in the press as "Spud".

After Spud left the club, Ipshit fell in to decline, and were it not for the generosity of the Soviet Union who covertly funded Ipshit for a number of years, the club would have fallen in to administration.

Good times though were round the corner with the coming of Robson Green as manager. Under Robson's charismatic leadership Ipshit won the FA Cup and the Wafa cup, beating AZ AlkaSeltzer in the final over 12 legs.

Where did it all go wrong ?[edit]

In the 1980's, Ipshit were relegated seventeen times, a new record, with their only bright spot being the ever presence of the now aging John Warf, who after retiring from football at the age of 59, later saw success in Star Trek, The Next Generation.

Ipshit's ground was, by this time, not considered good enough to store human waste, so a bold plan was undertaken to rebuild the ground under the leadership of Mr David Sheepshagger. he was fully aware that Ipswich had no money so arranged a funding arrangement whereby ipshit would gain world class facilities, then go in to administration, meaning creditors would received just ten pence in the pound. Amazingly his scam worked and local charities and voluntary organsisation were amongst a number of organisations who despite finding themselves out of pocket and also now in financial difficulties, were pleased to find out that they had been part of Ipshit's elaborate sham of a finance scheme.

The 21st Century[edit]

Ipshit changed their name, now preferring the obscure name of Ipswich, but to football fans throughout the world, they will always be "Shit", and not "wich"

Famous Players[edit]

  • John Warf
  • Franz Mason
  • Arnold the Dog
  • Paul (bend over) Marina
  • Tevr Questionmark
  • Jim Magic Tilton
  • Keith "Stop the baby crying" Beats
  • Mini Cooper
  • Heather Mills
  • George Brawny
  • Kieron Dire
  • Tight Arse Thorn Bush
  • Darren Bender
  • Banjo Geuntchev
  • Louie Louie, Oh Oh, Donavan
  • Richard Wrong