Itzari

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The Itzari are the trousers worn by Romanian haiducs and hip-hopers. they are basically second hand white tights imported from Uzbekistan and France.

basic rules of itzari wearing: never wash, never take off. usually those who wear itzari have a unique ability to push excrements down a blowing pipe called "gatul lui nastase" or "sloboz recipient". the reason for them doing so is yet undetermined by most researchers around the world, but it so seems that some of the greatest minds in ZUMBAWLOEW forest(right next to the Statue of Liberty, downhill of the Eiffel Tower) correlate such an act with the pursuit of the feeling of being part of a sacred falic tradition of recharging one's sexual potential. Those who wear itzari (not to be confused with "cacati spurcati") then blow content of thier blowpipes at the sky while chanting dark sermons also known as "Codul Penal Revizuit". Profesor Futoi Indoi actually believes that it is the smell of the itzari that prevents the brain from getting enough airborn mazga(a romanian health tonic produced in siderurgy as prime byproduct) which enables the wearer of letting his deepest and darknest desires take ah hold on his actions. Contrary to popular belief, this results not in manele southing and "laba" as it usually happens during sacred religious romanian festivities(such as "bautul pisatului" -check MISA, the romanian oficial religion) but in the above described phenomenon.

To order a pair of itzari one must first contact the ucranian ministry of defense so as to have them trasnported in hyper-sealed containers that are usually used for uranium and biologycal weapons.

Most likely the buyer might get nearly washed itzari due to the well known procedure of "pisat in pat"(peing on oneself while in bed), which is why a perfectly filthy pair is very rare and inestimable in worth(art specialists around the world and other geeks of such all agree that Mona Lisa was wearing one of those pairs while she got herself painted. they belief that her perfect smile is due to the fact that Michelangelo Florentin Baciu was wearing an oxygen masc that made light curve in a funny way, also known as picasso vision. we believe that her smile was caused by the "baby farting effect" which is, when one has gases one crisps his/hers face if one is very young.)

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