JAG

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“The only message the show has is this: U. S. Navy is #1! U. S. Navy is #1! U. S. Navy is #1! U. S. Navy is #1! U. S. Navy is #1! U. S. Navy is #1! U. S. Navy is #1! U. S. Navy is #1! U. S. Navy is #1! U. S. Navy is #1!”

~ Oscar Wilde on JAG

JAG was a show that ran on NBC for one season in 1995 then went over to CBS in 1997 and ran until 2005. Mostly only old people watched it, something that is a given, given that it aired on CBS, as well as servicemembers at Walter Reed too injured to be able to change the channel. It was created by Donald Bellisario, whose better shows include Quantum Leap and Magnum, P. I.

Contents 1 Premise 2 Characters 3 Production 4 Series arc 4.1 Episode list 4.1.1 Season 1 4.1.2 Season 2

[edit] Premise

The show is a realistic depiction of what it's like to be a lawyer in the military. One minute you're filing a memo, the next you're strapped into a helo to go aboard an aircraft carrier, the next you're fighting hand to hand with Chechen terrorists. It's all in a day's work.

[edit] Characters

The protagonist was Harmon Rabb, Jr. (David James Elliott, who went on to play the Janitor on Scrubs), a former Navy pilot who became a lawyer and then figured out ways to fly a jet every time he went aboard a carrier. He was in love with a Marine lawyer named Sarah MacKenzie (Catherine Bell) but he was too chicken to tell her how he felt until the last season. Their boss was Admiral Chegwidden (John M. Jackson), a fruity old man who couldn't hold a candle to Jean-Luc Picard.

Harm's first partner was Lt. Pike (Andrea Parker), but NBC wanted a perky blonde so they twisted Bellisario's arm to fire Parker and get Tracey Needham (who played Lt. Meg Austin, niece of Oliver North.)

Bud Roberts (Patrick Labyorteaux) was a Public Affairs Officer aboard the USS Chicken of the Sea but then went to work at JAG as a lawyer. Since the actor lost his leg in real life, his character also lost his leg in the show when he stepped on a land mine in season 7. His ball and chain is Lieutenant Harriet Sims (Karri Turner), with whom he had seven children, all named after coworkers at JAG.

Harriet is easily the most annoying character on JAG. They should have killed her off. Instead they offed with the feisty Lt. Singer (Nanci Chambers). Lt. Singer was a total bitch, but at least she wasn't shrill and stupid like Harriet.

JAG didn't add a token black guy until season 7: Commander Sturgis Turner (Scott Lawrence).

Just in case you got bored with the main characters, JAG had a bunch of recurring characters. There's the Seahawk CAG, played by Terry O'Quinn (better known as the bald dude from LOST) who in season 7 became a dog robber Admiral, and Petty Officer Coates (Zoe McLellan), who was accused of stealing that bitch Singer's necklace, and Montel Williams as a tough-love Navy SEAL, etc.

[edit] Production

Even though the U. S. Navy was willing to help Bellisario since the show's second season, he was too lazy to take them up on their offer. So instead he just bootlegged other military movies like Top Gun and spliced that footage into his show. Bellisario also plagiarized news footage. In the second episode, Bill Clinton is seen jogging and he waves to someone. Then we see Harm wave back. Then we see Bill Clinton re-run the same few yards he ran just a second ago.

[edit] Series arc

The backstory for Harm is that his daddy, who looks just like him except with a fake mustache, was a naval aviator who went MIA in Vietnam, so Harm Jr. went there to look for him. In the first three seasons of the show he gets clues that daddy wound up in Siberia. He finds his corpse in season 4.

After 9/11, the mission of the show was to promote George W. Bush's idea that the Constitution should be chucked because it's just too inconvenient for fighting the War on Terror.

[edit] Episode list

[edit] Season 1

Number	Title	Air Date	Locations	Plot Outline
1.01 (1.01 and 1.02)	A New Life (Pilot)	September 23, 1995	The Adriatic Sea Washington D.C. Sarajevo, Yugoslavia Naples, Italy	A butch lesbian beats a male sailor at weightlifting.
1.03	Shadow	September 30, 1995	Bermuda Triangle Washington D.C. Northeast of Cuba Off The Coast of Miami, Florida	Harm and Meg confront a computer geek with a torpedo.
1.04	Desert Son	October 7, 1995	Twenty Nine Palms Marine Base, California	A spoiled Marine brat gets in trouble.
1.05	Déjà Vu	October 21, 1995	Arlington National Cemetery McLean, Virginia Washington D.C. Bethesda, Maryland	Harm sees ghosts at Arlington National Cemetery.
1.06	Pilot Error	October 28, 1995	Miramar Naval Air Station, California	A sleazy civilian contractor kills Navy pilots.
1.07	War Cries	November 4, 1995	Lima, Peru Santa Rosa, Peru	Harm and Mac have to rescue the Ambassador to Peru before he wets his pants.
1.08	Brig Break	December 2, 1995	Seatac Island Naval Base, Washington	Meg is taken hostage and Harm has to rescue her.
1.09	Scimitar	December 9, 1995	Kuwait Washington D.C. Quantico, Virginia Basra, Iraq	Marines try to get a headstart in the search for empty WMD shells.
1.10	Boot	January 6, 1996	Parris Island, South Carolina Washington D.C.	Meg goes undercover to boot camp and has to do push-ups.
1.11	Sightings	January 13, 1996	Del Rio, Texas	JAG meets The X-Files.
1.12	The Brotherhood	February 3, 1996	Camp Pendleton, California Los Angeles, California	Harm and Mac pretend to be rappers.
1.13	Defensive Action	March 13, 1996	Bosnian "No-fly zone" Washington D.C. Neretva River, Bosnia The Adriatic Sea Naples, Italy	Rabb defends the CAG who shot down a camel jockey from the sky.
1.14	Smoked	March 20, 1996	Off The Coast Of Cuba Washington D.C. 20,000 Feet Over Florida	Harm craves Cuban cigars so he finds an excuse to go to Cuba and get his fix.
1.15	Hemlock	March 27, 1996	The Pentagon, Virginia Washington D.C. Bethesda, Maryland Leesburg, Virginia	Something about a Russian assassin.
1.16	High Ground	April 3, 1996	Quantico, Virginia	Plot stolen from Full Metal Jacket Act 1.
1.17	Black Ops	April 10, 1996	Washington D.C. Roosevelt Roads, Puerto Rico The Caribbean Sea	Navy SEALs frag a Senator's son.
1.18	Survivors	April 17, 1996	Vietnam (1972) Santa Ana, California Tustin, California Big Pine, California Bishop, California	JAG meets Crossing Over With John Edward.
1.19	Recovery	May 1, 1996	Vandenberg AFB, California	Harm and Meg try not to fall asleep while watching a NASA launch.
1.20	The Prisoner	May 8, 1996	Nantou, China Hong Kong	Harm checks into a Chinese prison cell.
1.21	Ares	May 22, 1996	Okinawa, Japan Kyushu (Sasebo), Japan The Sea of Japan Off the North Korean Coast	More computer trouble.
1.22	Skeleton Crew	1999	Norfolk, Virginia	Catherine Bell gets killed, but she's not really Catherine Bell, and she won't be until the next season.

[edit] Season 2

Number	Title	Air Date	Locations	Plot Outline
2.01 (23)	We the People	January 3, 1997	Washington, DC, Arizona	Catherine Bell shows up at JAG but everyone forgets her character is supposed to be dead. Oh, and the U.S. Declaration of Independence gets stolen by militiamen.
2.02 (24)	Secrets	January 10, 1997	JAG Headquarters, Virginia	They hadn't built the courtroom set yet, so they came up with an excuse to have a trial in Chegwidden's office.
2.03 (25)	Jinx	January 17, 1997	Marine Corps Air Station Miramar USS America (CV-66)	Harm finds yet another excuse to fly a plane.
2.04 (26)	Heroes	January 24, 1997		Harm punks Mac in the courtroom.
2.05 (27)	Crossing the Line	January 31, 1997	USS Seahawk crossing the Equator	The bald dude from LOST is accused of sexxual harasment.
2.06 (27)	Trinity	February 7, 1997	Ireland	Harm and Mac bring peace to Northern Ireland.
2.07 (28)	Ghosts	February 14, 1997	JAG HQ, civilian courthouse, Chegwidden's residence, hospital	Chegwidden's old. Really old.
2.08 (29)	Full Engagement	February 21, 1997	Appalachian Mountains, JAG HQ	Harm and Mac go camping.
2.09 (30)	Washington Holiday	February 28, 1997	Willard Hotel and Romanian Embassy in Washington, D.C.; JAG HQ	Harm macs on a Romanian princess.
2.10 (31)	The Game of Go	February 28, 1997	American Embassy in Colombia, drug plantation	Harm is still fixing for Cuban cigars, but goes to Cuba for some reason.
2.11 (32)	Force Recon	March 7, 1997	Recon training camp	Harm gets yelled at by the Drill Instructor from Full Metal Jacket.
2.12 (33)	The Guardian	March 28, 1997	Civilian courtroom, convenience store, church	A Navy SEAL is homeless as draft dodgers occupy the White House for the whole time JAG was on the air.
2.13 (34)	Code Blue	April 4, 1997	Mercy Hospital in Washington, D.C.	Israelis and Palestinians in an American hospital. Nothing funny about that.
2.14 (35)	Cowboys & Cossacks	April 11, 1997	USS Arleigh Burke, Russian Destroyer Vasiliev, both ships "somewhere in the Black Sea"	Everyone's nostalgic for the Cold War.
2.15 (36)	Rendezvous	April 18, 1997	Norfolk Naval Complex	This episode was written by Jerry Springer, and it's about, what else? a love triangle.

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