Jabberwock

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The fossilized remains of a Curly-toed Jabberwocky (now thought extinct) shows the great age that creature has survived, this specimen has been dated to the late Metazoic Age.

A Jabberwocky is a most lively dead creature that is supposedly indigenous to Moscow and Wallachia, especially around the Tulgey Woods. It's said to have rubber-like consistency, a buck-toothed head, so foul, so vile that it makes the eponymous vulture's ass seem attractive in comparison and wings reminiscent of Cthulhu.

Galumphing in the Wild[edit]

The Jabberwock is so named for its distinctive mating call which can be most accurately transcribed as "Jabber-jabber-jabber" (what the "wok" part has to do with the critter is anybody's guess). It is believed by authorities on alien zoology such as Jack O'Hooligan, Slartibartfast and Pope Gregory the IXth that the Jabberwock mates slightly less often than a castrated Vulcan, thus explaining their rarity. Others say the Halloween mask industry is to blame.

Some practical advice[edit]

If you see a Jabberwocky, draw out your vorpal blade and yell, "Snicker snack!" That should chase away that fool. If it doesn't, the Jabberwocky will rip out your own intestines and force feed them to you, so be careful.

A Jabberwocky is likely to be seen on a brillig day at about a quarter past two on a Monday. The previous days rain should create a swamp of slithy toves which the Jabberwocky enjoys for breakfast. The borogroves are usually mimsy when a Jabberwocky is about so take note of their actions when venturing into woods.

In Literature[edit]

After being introduced to Kitten Huffing by Tamia, renowned mushroom expert Lewis Carroll is thought to have accidentally ingested a rare strain of Woodstock mushroom while high on orange kitten (which fucked him up real good). He recorded his experiences in a poem, which he called "The Jabberwocky".

Subspecies[edit]

While no specimens have ever been obtained for scientific study, it is thought that there are a number of sub-species of Jabberwock. Most famous of these is the Jabberwookie, which features thick fur rather than scales, and is most often sighted in the vicinity of Sci-Fi conventions.