Jade Buddha Temple

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The Jade Buddha temple is located in some shit covered forest in Shanghai, which is some

place that sells Viagra and Oprah Winfrey. The main fighting styles that are taught in this dump are the Huddled Tiger Fist and kitten huffing. The monks in the temple are all homosexual.

These codes of honor are very strict, and here they are.

  • 1)You must never huff a tiger.
  • 2)You must never huff a tiger while you walk.
  • 3)You must never huff a tiger while you sit.
  • 4)You must never eat in the living room.
  • 5)You must never throw wild parties.
  • 6)You must never put your feet on the coffee table.
  • 7)You must never miss an episode of Dragonball Z.
  • 8)You must never watch the Power Rangers. They're too damn chezzey.
  • 9)You must never watch that one sour starburst commercial. The monks are very anal about that.
  • 10)You must never eat vegetables.
  • 11)You must never fart forty times a day.
  • 12)You must always wear a bra when in the temple. The monks are gay.
  • 13)You must always play Alicia Keys music.
  • 14)You must never play Tamia music.
  • 15)You must never kiss Oprah Winfrey.
  • 16)You must never huff kittens.
  • 17)You must be in a pink dress while fighting.
  • 18)You must never drink birch beer.
  • 19)You must always drink root beer, creme soda, and shirley temples. God they're tasty!
  • Golden rule) You must always drink birch beer.

The penalties for defying these orders are followed:

  • 1)Spanked
  • 2)Spanked two times
  • 3)Spanked three times
  • 4)Forced to sit in a corner, in a monkey suit.
  • 5)Forced to sit in a corner, wearing a futuristic jumpsuit.
  • 6)Forced to sit in a corner, wearing a Power Ranger outfit.
  • 7)No TV
  • 8)No computer
  • 9)No vegetables
  • 10)No homework
  • 11)Hit with a herring.
  • 12)Hit with Edward Elric.
  • 13)Sniff in fart gas.
  • 14)Wear horse shit on your head.
  • 15)Have the cast of Magical DoReMi turn you into a dildo.
  • 16)Watch Nigger Dare 2000.
  • 17)Huff kittens
  • 18)Get punched a million times with their secret technique.
  • 19)Huff even more kittens.
  • 20)Have Cless' Eternal Sword shoved up your ass.

Charles M.Schulz was the first one to practice the huddled tiger fist, but had his genitals turned into a dildo.