Jagex

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“I have an idea. I want to make the ugliest and shittest game in history.”

~ Andrew Gower
The infamous Jagex logo.

Jagex Ltd., commonly known as Fagex or Fags R Us, is an English uranium producer of Java-based crap. According to developer Paul Gower, Fagex means "Fucking Ass Gay Entering Men". The company is best known for it's MMORPG, RuneScape, also known as MooScape, WalletRape, RunEscape, Rune'sCape, CowScape, IcanhascheezburgerScape, and their all famous website "Tubgirl.com".

History[edit]

Fagex Software was founded in November 2000 by two geniuses known as Andrew "Shake ya Ass!" Gower and Paul "Ass ya Shake!" Gower. They created the java based game with their brilliant minds. An ambitious young man known as Constant Tedder was also supposedly one of the creators :[), They themselves also refer to their company as Fagex.

In December 2001, the company focused on their world domination with . They also came up with the online game GayScape, which they like to call PayScape. At this time, the company became Fagex Ltd. and began producing pickles and uranium. At the time of the company's disarrayed formation, GayScape had already been created and more than 2 accounts were created, making it the most popular Java-based game at the time.

The first tasks of the company were to enslave squirrels and make them type on computers and rape small children while fucking their mothers with a pole. They also wanted nerds to pay to play GayScape with a 15 peso monthly fee whenever they felt gay enough to. A partnership with Bill Gates was also wanted after Andrew fucked his mother one night. All tasks were achieved, and the pay-to-play version of GayScape was released on February 27, 1987, gaining 2 subscriptions in the first 5 years.

Currently, Gayscape has over 40 active users. In 2006, founders Andrew Gower and Paul Gower were calculated to be worth $0.32 US and decided to get married. To this day, Andrew Gower lives with his mother and brother in a dumpster eating goat shit.

Operation[edit]

Fagex has grown massively since 2057 and now has 2 offices, one in Andrew's mother's bedroom and the other in Iraq, which are fairly close together. The company has been recruiting heavily in 2006 and now has nearly 4 staff members, grouped into the Shitty Graphics and Gay Crap Development, Even Shittier Development, Gay Publishing, Piece of Shit Cunt Web Content, Fagget Minigames (aka, FuckAll) , and Customer Relations teams. The Customer Relations team is there to help people who are mentally retarded and would like to be called special (more commonly known as the GayScape community). Fagex continues to add more "worlds" (or fucktards) to not expand the area in which players cannot play, focusing on adding servers in Pen Island, which is im stupigwhere the faggets can be gay and piss on eachother. They have 5 servers in various locations all in Andrew's mother's bedroom, Mexico, and Iraq.

Financial[edit]

Now worth over $0.01, Fagex is expected to increase in value to almost 39 cents by 3088. According to their corporate website, Fagex is looking to hire another fatass to assist in the crappier shit development division, located in his mothers bedroom. This will greatly make the game content shittier, and increase the companies value my almost a whole cent! In 2006, Fagex invested 11 cents into Microsoft's shit editing software, known as Paint, after getting fed up of pretending the game had graphics. They later realized the software was already on their computer, under the accessories menu, and promptly tried to feed their graphics fucktard to their make believe retarded cat. This mistake reduced their total assets to 18 cents, 3 boxes of rotten bananas, and a computer from the year 267AD. Their latest updates include additional areas in the game to cyber with the player and staff moderators, and a new "Big Brother" feature that automatically records your cyber with them and uploads it to YouTube. All of the people who sign up for memberships and give their money to Fagex are really funding the bandwidth required to upload so much fucking junk to YouTube.

Gower's Pants[edit]

In 2007, it was publicly declared on Hell news that Andrew Gower had wet himself after looking at himself in the mirror. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), he didn't have enough money to afford a new washing machine. He now goes round smelling like a moldy sewer-rat (which is 0.0000000001% worse than he previously smelt). After hearing this, GayScape's demented users promptly left, reducing the user base to 1 user (this is Andrew Gower, even his retarded brother and monkey friends stopped playing). Paul Gower says he admires his brother's actions, and promptly bum-raped him.

Recently[edit]

On December 10th 2007 GayScape loses several players because of spoiled meat. No one knows where the meat came from or why it was even there. Anywho The game stinks so bad now every player lost their party hats in attempt throw them in the wash. 67% of the GayScape population was lost in 2 days.

More Recently[edit]

On January 1st 5.2 kids shot themselves because they realized they had wasted 2 years of their lives on GayScape. This is a very recent thing and a new help service has been set up for all the people who are traumatised after realizing the pointlessness of this game.

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