Jam Jams

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Jam Jams tomorrow and Jam Jams yesterday - but never Jam Jams today.”

~ Oscar Wilde paraphrasing Lewis Carroll, his favourite pornographer.

Jam Jams are a tasty but highly addictive jam-filled cookie, and are the national food of Newfoundland. The addictive qualities of Jam Jams are legendary, and are caused by the sweet narcotic filling, or Jam, a slang term for a very hard drug similiar to crystal meth.

Jam Jams are the diabolical invention of the deceptively named Purity Factory Office (PFO), the food production wing of the local communist government. PFO began creating addictive food substances in 1924. It was in that year that three Sin Johns businessmen - Pratt, Prickman, and Doobie - purchased a local confectionary and soft drink company, and began production of what were to become instant opiates of the masses - Peppermint Snobs, Cream Crack, and a bright pink hallucinogenic flavoured drink additive known as Purity Stir-Up.

Using traditional recipes and only the finest Colombian ingredients, PFO products are still enjoyed and welcomed today, by young and old addicts alike.

See Also[edit]

  • England - Home to the worlds largest population of Jam and Marmalade users.
  • Jam - the skinny on the world's most pernicious drug.
  • The Pope is recognised as a major jam junkie.