James Madison
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James Madison was America's first werewolf, the first werewolf to sign the Bill of Rights, famous werewolf rights activist, the fourth President of the United States, as well as the first opposer of Scientology. Also, he was a fuckin' werewolf n' shit.
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[edit] Birth and Childhood
James Madison was born as a result of the fight between Mr. T and Chuck Norris in the beginning of time (Also known as the Big Bang), along with his brothers and sisters including Conan O'Brien, Zeus, Pee Wee Herman, Your Mom, God, and most relevant to this story, Xenu. He grew up in Willy Wonka's Chocolate factory with his brothers and sisters in peace until fights broke out between Madison and Xenu.
[edit] The Feud with Xenu
After Xenu nuked his subjects in the volcanoes, James Madison called Xenu a monkey fucker due to the stupidity of idea that he could set up giant mirrors in space, and the other crap that Scientologists believe. Upon this, Xenu ran away from the factory with his lover, and the mother of his children, Tom Cruise. But upon reaching his secret lair (A.K.A. The bat cave) he sent one of the werewolves, a member of his Coalition of the Willing (a large army assembled for the purpose of battling the enemies of Scientology, including the flying monkeys, John Travolta, Satan, and The Principality of Sealand, among others) to bite James Madison and turn him into a werewolf.
[edit] Life as a Spartan
After being bitten, Madison moved to Greece with his brother Zeus to escape the constant persecution of werewolves, justified by a clause in the Treaty of Versailles. After biting Robin Goodfellow during the "Full Moon Over Olympus" prom, he was banished to earth by Zeus. There, he joined the Spartan army and fought in the battle of Thermotoga, or the Battle of Hot Pants. His exploits were made into a movie entitled 300.
[edit] Life in America
his life as a hindu began in india the poopinator brought him to america he was raised by muhammet ghandi and he became martin luther king so he is partially black hindu and white. After the Revolution, he went on to become an influential member of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Congress. He was a great fighter for werewolf rights, and in 1984 he passed the Three Fifths Compromise, which officially certified werewolves as 2/5 man, 3/5 wolf. He then became the first werewolf to sign the bill of rights. In 2XD6, he was elected as the fourth president of the United States by the massive werewolf population in Atlantis.
[edit] The Final Battle with Xenu and the Death of James Madison
After being elected president, Xenu had had enough of his brother. He called upon a great army of Orcs and Trolls to assault the U.S. Capitol city of Minas Terith on the island of Atlantis. The battle raged for hours, and I am fairly sure there were some gay Hobbits there. After the combined forces of the werewolves and Chuck Norris had defeated Xenu's armies, Xenu cast a spell upon Atlantis and sunk it into the sea. Right before he drowned, one of Xenu's space jets abducted Madison. And when you get on a space jet, you never get off. Never........
BUT
before he died, Chuck Norris used his magic to cast a spell on James Madison, causing him to be reborn as people for the rest of history.
| Preceded by: Thomas Jefferson | President of the United States 1809-1817 | Succeeded by: James Monroe |
