Jean-Luc Godard

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Godard-2.jpg WARNING
This article is probably much too highbrow for your petit-bourgeois sense of humor. Don't expect vulgar crackings-up or sophomoric non-sequiturs.

Relax with your pipe, sip your brandy and chuckle delightedly as you read. If the sophisticated witticisms continue to confound you, Uncyclopedia invites you to click the following hyperlink to this article about poopoo.

Godard saluting the Wermacht as it seizes Paris in 1941
Bouncywikilogo9.gif
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Jean-Luc Godard.

Jean- Luc Godard (1931-2020) was a French statesman, bicyclist and film maker. His films were made to drag countless dates to their dooms. The reason for this was that French was often mistaken for an erotic language and that exposure to it therefore would cause some sort of sexual activity. Unfortunalty this was never, and will never be the case. The abscence of promiscuity in movie theaters, caused by the raw dullness of Godard's films combined with the obviously unsexy French tounge, made him hugely popular among single men with a perverted interest in French culture. They were no longer ashamed of frequenting movie theaters, since most of these now were completely deserted, without female company . For this achievement he was awarded the Order of the Beaver, grand cross, by the Latvian Academy of the Fine Sciences in 1992. He is commonly recognized as one of brighest shining stars on the sky of pornography.

Background[edit]

Godard was born in an unknown chateau somewhere in France in 1931 as Giorgios Gaiopapastinopoulichalismegmaflexitraposidinis IX jr. His father was the famous last arch-duke of Greece, Giorgios Gaiopapastinopoulichalismegmaflexitraposidinis IX. Godard later shortened his name to Jean- Luc Godard.

As a young boy Godard was keen bicyclist, working as delivery boy for multi-national corporation. Tragically, his career came to an abrupt end as his bicycle was stolen by John Zorn, and he was forced to a bohemian lifestyle. The once hardworking and honnest Godard now turned in to a full-feathered intellectual, as he was becoming addicted to women, wine an cheap pornography. Consequently he became broke.

Goddard was a Marxist, however, not in the usual sense if the words. He said in an interview with Playboy magazine: "I don't get it. Everyone's talking about the 'political ramifications of my Marxist tendencies.' I just fucking love Groucho."

He died after drinking far too much fine wine one night.

Lets be really honest though neither you nor I have any real idea who this man is or was or whatever. Us guys just got forced into reading about this painter writer dude or something or other by a teacher and we came here to Uncyclopedia to come up with a witty joke to impress that european chick. Make some lame remark thats hes God-Hard to understand as a last chance to save your pathetic romantic life....

Films[edit]

In 1959, Godard directed the innovative cooking documentary About the Souffle. He retired soon after.

Trivia[edit]

  • Every single movie Quentin Tarantino has ever made is completely composed of Godard quotes.
  • Samuel Beckett wrote Waiting for Godard after Jean-Luc stood him up on a date.
  • Had sex with all the women he cast.
  • His final film, Film Capitalisme, is notable for being the first and only film spoken in Serbo-Francoation, a language Godard created himself.

See also[edit]

Filmmakers of the World
Epic Visionaries

Michelangelo Antonioni | Ingmar Bergman | Peter Bogdanovich | Robert Bresson | Charlie Chaplin | Coen Brothers | Francis Ford Coppola | Cecil B. De Mille | Clint Eastwood | Federico Fellini | John Ford | D.W. Griffith | Alfred Hitchcock | Abbas Kiarostami | Sergio Leone | Martin Scorsese | Steven Spielberg | Andrei Tarkovsky | Orson Welles | James Cameron | Akira Kurosawa

Not-So-Epic Visionaries

Michael Bay | Uwe Boll | Tim Burton | Ken Burns | John Carpenter | Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer | Mel Gibson | Tom Green | Catherine Hardwicke | Spike Lee | George Lucas | Dolph Lundgren | McG | Michael Moore | Leonard Nimoy | Guy Ritchie | George Romero | Joel Schumacher | M. Night Shyamalan | Alan Smithee | Oliver Stone | Billy Bob Thornton | Tommy Wiseau | John Woo | Ed Wood | Rob Zombie

Highly Respected in France

Woody Allen | Darren Aronofsky | Mel Brooks | Sofia Coppola | Jean-Luc Godard | Jim Jarmusch | Charlie Kaufman | Jerry Lewis | David Lynch | Rob Schneider | Lars von Trier

Highly Confusing in Japan

Milos Forman | Terry Gilliam | Akira Kurosawa | Russ Meyer | Quentin Tarantino

Highly Disturbing in Mexico

Guillermo del Toro | Jared Hess

Highly Racist in Suid-Afrika

Neill Blomkamp

view  discuss  edit