Jeff Gannon
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
|
|
|
a/k/a James Guckert.
Introduced to the White House power structure by Press Secretary and apparent softball catcher Scott McClellan as "my pitcher," failed businessman Jeff Gannon was the front man for a phony rightwing news organization. Thereafter, Gannon attended several years worth of press conferences under the name James Guckert, while at the same time working as a gay prostitute and operating several gay porn sites.
Guckert/Gannon soon became the President's favorite whenever he felt the need to "Meat the Press." Soon it was no longer necessary for Jim/Jeff to be cleared for entry into the inner sanctum of 1600 Penisylvania Avenue and he came there regularly; even taking up residence in Karl Rove's capacious offices for many overnite sleepovers.
Guckert/Gannon bent over forwards to present the President with many opportunities to shove home his rigid agenda, through the backlogs of bureaucrats like Colin Powell. At press conferences, Jim/Jeff asked "questions" pulled word for word from the daily Republican talking points, providing an open forum for the President to spew out his hot milky rhetoric, of which he availed himself often.
