Jejemon

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Jejevitis, Jejekids, j3j3mon and j3j3m0n all redirect here. For other uses, click here.

A typical Jejemon.
Ah, the Jejemons. As you may have noticed, they do these weird hand symbols. What do they mean? I absolutely have no idea (and neither do they.)

Jejemon is a new breed of Filipino that tYpEzZ l1k3 dh1EzZ pH0wZ! Jejemons are usually seen around social networking sites such as Friendster and Multiply (since Facebook is too cool for them). They are usually individuals with low IQs who spread around their idiocy on the web by tYpFing LyK diZS, overuse the Spanish version of laughing jejejeje, and makes all people viewing their profile raise their eyebrows out of annoyance.

CAUTION: THESE INDIVIDUALS ARE BREEDING! THEY CAN BE SEEN WRECKING GRAMMATICAL HAVOC ON THE INTERNET!

Etymology[edit]

The word Jejemon comes from the Jeje, which is the official I'm a Filipino, and I was raped by them translation of Hehe. The mon comes from Pokemon or Digimon or your mom.

Dress Code[edit]

The Jejecap. How to wear: just put it on your head. And by putting it on your head, I mean literally just putting it on.

They usually wear a rainbow-colored cap (also known as "Jeje Caps")... well, they don't really wear them. They just put it on their heads, which they think is cool! (Clue: it's not.) They also wear jerseys, short jeans, chains (which they probably borrowed from their dogs), earrings, rings, and flip-flops. Also, most of them have colored hair. Talk about trying hard..

Jejevitis[edit]

Thank you, Ms. Cruz, you fucking jejebitch. My speech is entitled Jeje Kids/Dan Santos(or Jejekids).

Jejevitis:

Epidemiology: We've all seen them. On the Internet, at the store, walking on the streets.

Signs and Symptoms: Aw, sick! Gross! Jejekids are born with a disease, which causes very brown skin, blonde hair and bad grammar. Aw, nasty, yuck! They creep us out, and make us sick to our stomachs. I'm talking, of course, about Jejekids.

Diagnosis: Jejevitis is diagnosed clinically using the signs and symptoms mentioned above.

Differential Diagnosis: Some people have bad grammar, but not brown skin and blonde hair. These people are called daywalkers.

Treatment: Kids who have Jejevitis cannot be cured. Aw sick! Gross! Yuck! Because their grammar is so bad, Jejekids must avoid the sun.

In conclusion, I will leave you with this. If you think that the jeje problem is not a serious one...think again!

The Jeje Language[edit]

A typical Friendster profile of a Jejemon. These Jejemons usually breed on Friendster. Yes, some people still use Friendster.

The "Jeje Language" (also known as Jejenese) is a very complicated language that branches off from 1337 Speak. Normal people like you and me must take a Bachelor of Arts in Jejemon studies (4 years), then go to Jejemon school (4 years), then do internship in Jejeland (2 years), then specialize in Jejetyping, Jejenese, Advanced Jejemon studies, Internal Jejemon affairs, or Jejemon surgery (3 - 6 years depending on specialty) in order to understand said individuals, as decoding their text would cause a lot of frustration and hair pulling.

The Jeje language is a dialect of Newspeak that srung out of the dirt when Oceania annexed the Philippines in 1984, according to a history book my fourth grade teacher gave me after eating pencil shavings.

Some linguists suggest that the Jeje Language is not a language, and that it is in fact, a dialect of 1337 Speak. Other scholars say that they use their complicated manner of typing in order to disguise their inability to spell correctly and speak in correct grammar.

The major difference between 1337 and Jeje is that 1337's goal is for its text to be hard to understand, while Jeje's goal is to make its text flamboyant. (In other words, they are the stereotypical "gays" of the Internet.)

The Jejemons have developed their own alphabet, called the "Jejebet". It goes like this:

  • eI
  • vBiE
  • xI3
  • dHie
  • iHh
  • eFfX
  • 6i3
  • eyTcH
  • aiI
  • jHie
  • k3i
  • eL
  • 3m
  • 3N
  • oWh
  • fPie
  • qyU
  • aR3
  • e$
  • tIe
  • yuO
  • bVi3
  • daBol yuO
  • eXh
  • waI
  • zeY

Note: Jeje Language has different variants, such as OUHLL CAPZZ PUOWHH. Some are easier to decipher, but most of the times, it is NOT. Most variants interchange the letters V and B, and f and P. Others use 1337's elements, such that they replace I with 1, E with 3, G with 6, etc. For best effects, use wrong spelling and grammar, and always use PfOuHh!

Note: Their grammar is so bad that they don't follow their own alphabet.

Google Translate[edit]

Introducing Google Translate's Jejemon (beta)

Good news! Google's engineers are now working on the beta version of the Jejemon language in Google Translate! Say goodbye to nose-bleeding hard-to-comprehend complex language that is Jejemon!

This proves that Google is always first, and Yahoo is just Google's ass-kisser. What do you say to that, Babelfish?

Habits[edit]

A Jejebitch's suicide letter. Look, if you're a Jejemon, and you're going to commit suicide, then don't bother writing a letter, for nobody gives a damn if you're going to die or not. Seriously.

Through social networking sites and text messaging, they usually brag about their useless lives, claiming that they "hang around at Starbucks", or that they are cutting classes to drink and gamble. Ugh, pathetic losers.

They are usually members of "fraternities" (which is not really a fraternity. It's more like a moron organization), and fight with other fraternities (which they call "rambol"). This is the reason why they always carry pocket knives.

Jejenism[edit]

Jejenism is the primary religion of Jejemons and the new Pastafarianism. Here is Jejenism's 10 commandments:

Jejebusters[edit]

Even politicians, such as Gibo Teodoro, can be a Jejebuster.

Jejebusters acts as Jejemon's grammar police. They think that they're intellectual beings with much superior knowledge in English proficiency. This is a typecast that they perceive, where in reality Jejebusters are considered by actual sensible people as people who are equally irritating as Jejemons. Though they act as he counter balance of the Jejemons, Their movement and quirks especially on the networking site Facebook have made them look like roadside clowns.

Most of these Jejebusters are jobless people who still live with their parents and hound Facebook, correcting grammar off of their contact lists. They show hatred towards these individuals without actually realizing that they are of the same irritating kind.

References[edit]


See Also[edit]