Jell-o-ism

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nicks dick is just like jello. is it a liquid? or a solid? the gay male population may never know. my guess its a myth Jell-o-ism is the religion of the Jell-o-ish people. It is the first recorded monofoodastic faith, predating Coca-colianity by more than two centuries. The values and history of those who wiggle while they jiggle are a major part of the foundation of the bank account of Bill Cosby.

Though some claim it to be an off-shoot of Roshashanallamanism, this is only claimed by idiots.

History[edit]

Jell-o-ism, though monofoodastic in theology, has never ever ever ever ever been monofoodastic in practice. Other items of worship include pudding, fnord, and those tiny cacti that come in tiny pots and sit on your windowsill. Despite the fact that it isn't actually monofoodastic, and is therefore a liar liar pants on fire, it continues to draw many followers in with its belief in an omnimaloderous, omnimalevolent, and cendent blob of jiggly bone-proteins. According to their FUN-damentalist beliefs, this blob of Jello created the world after ingesting way to much tequilla during springbreak. He then created a covenant with those who wiggle while they jiggle and revealed the true meaning of fnord.

In this ancient rite, those who wiggle while they jiggle are asking Bill Cosby to grant them kids who say the darnedest things.

Forms of Worship[edit]

Jello-ism today takes many forms. While some merely practice through the ritual eating of pre-packaged cups of jell-o once or twice a week, others make jell-o the central focus of their lives. These "FUN-dementalists" are often seen in so-called "jell-o wrestling mega-tubs", trying to get others into or under jell-o as much as possible.

An offshoot of Jello-ism, known as Jiggler-ism, holds that while a blob of jell-o was the original creator of the world while drunk on tequila at spring break, a second blob of jell-o was sent to us in the form of a jiggler to show followers the true path of jell-o-ism. These "Jell-o Jigglerians" (or jiglians) believe that the jiggler is one of a triune of jell-o: the jell-o, the jiggler, and the pudding pop.

Some claim that belief in the triune jell-o means jiglians are not, in fact, monofoodastic, as they seem to worship three types of food. Some even claim that the pudding pop should not be included in their beliefs as it is not a form of jell-o. These claims have been dismissed as "annoying".