Jellystone national park

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Jellystone national park.
Jellystone National Park is a national park located in the state of Whybother, United States.

While originally set aside as a national park for its geologically interesting mountains of actual blueberry jelly (though said to contain trace amounts of jam), it is perhaps best known for its population of highly intelligent bears. Certainly smarter than the average bear, their unusually high intelligence (due to a hole in the ozone layer being located right above the park) draws in large numbers of people, who are what really pays the park's bills. Rangers highly encourage visitors (especially the Japanese variety) to feed these bears their pick-a-nick baskets, and if they have a baby, to smear honey on its face and arms and let these gentle creatures just lick it off. While most of these bears simply try to impersonate Norton from "The Honeymooners" and devise convoluted plots to seize the food, some whole families have occasionally been known to put on crowd-pleasing bluegrass concerts. These bear buskers usually work for about $5 a show, but often simply a family-size jug of moonshine will do.

Less well-known is the fact that Jellystone Park is the exact site where the world will end. For yea, it was written in Revelation that Satan, accompanied by his minions Charles Darwin and Stephen Jay Gould will arise from their prison in hell and try to catch a Greyhound to the Left-Wing Coast. If they're short on change they just plan to hitchhike, so anybody driving through the area at time is advised not to pick up any hitchhikers, period. Some elite scientists claim that this is just a myth, and all those steaming geysers and hot springs are just natural geothermal activity, but we know the truth, for it hath set us free.


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