Jennifer Aniston
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| Date of birth: | February 11, 1969 | |
| Birth location: | Sherman Oaks, California, United States | |
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| Implants: | Are you kidding me? | |
| Spouse: | Brad Pitt (2000-2005) | |
[edit] FUCKING DIRTY CUNT WHORE
“I'd love to see her as a dominatrix! With ME!”
~ random masochistic coffee addict
“I think I STILL prefer Brad Pitt. Sorry.”
~ Vince Vaughn on what Jennifer prefers
“More knuckle sandwiches coming up”
~ Angelina Jolie on Jennifer Aniston
“She's TOTALLY HOT.”
~ That horny dude from... that thing. on Jennifer Aniston
“She'll never find another Brad!”
~ Tabloids on how Brad Pitt cheated on his wife with Jon Voight's daughter (Seriously!)
Mostly known for the acting in the 102nd BEST TV show ever, Friends.
[edit] When People Still Cared
People used to care about Jen, when she was on Friends and dated Brad Pitt. She still lives in that world, also known as the 6th Dimension. All the damn coverage about her divorce is overexposed. We know the big lipped monster took Brad, we know it's over, just leave her alone already.
Nowadays, the only time people think of her, is when someone (cough cough Angelina Jolie) brings up the subject again (that bitch).
[edit] Jolie vs. Aniston
| ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Age | Who cares? She dates older guys anyway | 40 | ||
| Height | Tall | 5'4 | ||
| Weight | Depends on her mood | 6 lbs | ||
| Born | From the devil | Feb 11 | ||
| Ex | Her brother, Billy Bob Thornton, that guy, that girl, and many many more | Brad Pitt, John Mayer, Vince Vaughn | ||
| Weak Points | Soft underbelly | Gaps in plate armour | ||
| Sexuality | Depends on what is cool | We think straight... right? | ||
| What would happen if these 2 have a catfight | Would call the devil on her speed dial and tell him to kill Jen for her because she's too busy adopting half of the world | Run away from the devil | ||
| Best Friends | She has no friends | Courtney Cox and her dogs | ||
| Enemies | Jennifer Aniston | Angelina Jolie | ||
| Why we like her | Handsome, in an ugly sort of way. | Hot | ||
| Most famous for Portraying | SCUBUS | Rachel Green from Friends | ||
| Now dating | Brad Pitt wants her ass | We don't know | ||
| Children | A pantone colour chart of ethnic children she nicked from Cambodia | None yet! |
