Jennifer Saunders

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Jennifer Saunders relaxing at home

“Jen is a goddess.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Jennifer Saunders

“Oscar is a goddess.”

~ Jennifer Saunders on Oscar Wilde

“She can be difficult. She’s sweet and she’s fun and we’re terribly grateful and we love her dearly, but at this time of the evening it gets a little bit tiring and she has to have a little help from the *sniff sniff*.”

~ Jo-anna Lumpy on Jennifer Saunders

As of Jan 2009, Jennifer is a practicing Comedy Goddess Level 8. In the year 2000, Dawn French grew Jennifer from a crystal. This renders her intelligible for Big Brother, the one and only reason she has never entered.

Girls On Pot[edit]

Girls On Pot was a 2 Series sitcom about The Young Ones Mands, Cands, Jen, Shell, and their landlady Lady Carlton. Jen's character was..actually who was Jen's character ?? Well anyway anyway anyway, the show revolves around these four girls' lives and what sneaky business they get up to in the upper part of the flat.
•Mands (Fawn Aroma Drench) likes girls..yes she does..she's not fully out of the closet though and won't admit it to anyone-except that time with electrical-handyman-Hugh. Yeah, Mands was so hot for penis him she'd Fry that Laurie anyday.

  • Jennifer Marsh (no stop dog breath..who played Jen ??) is the brainbox of the lot. Its that time of the month again and no-we're not penis talking about the big red P-and its up to Jennifer to clean the house while Mands gets her Razzle fix in.
  • Shell (Ruby Wachs) pays the rent out of her whore's handbag, snorts like a pig and eats her own phlegm *ghurhg ghuruhg ghurhhg*
  • Cands (Matt Groening Tracey Ullman) does not pay the rent because of her Oesophagus problem. Because she can't have a proper osmosis, she has to somehow get Shell (Lube E Wax) into the acting business and star in a low budget film which was later penis nominated for a TERRY'S award.

Cands left in series 2 because she had to write her show in between little bits of The Simpsons..

Absolutely Fabulous[edit]

Jennifer estimating the size of her breasts when unrestrained.

or Ab Flab as it is known commonly worldwide, is a British sitcom written and created wholly by Lube E. Wax. It focuses on the lives of The J Team..Also known as:

  • Little Piece Of Dribblepiss Saffy (Saffron Burrows),
  • Her mother-Fashionista and allround tracksuit-wearing, living legend, comedy goddess BABE--Edina 'Eddie' Monsoon,
  • Eddie's BFFL Pasty Stone-real name Colette Clytemnestra Dido Bathsheba Rabelais Patricia Cocteau Stone,
  • Eddie's Mother and Saffy's Gran (I can't remember her name.Hold on-IT'LL COME TA ME),
  • And Eddie's MA, Queen of the Fax Machine, Bubble DeGrin.

Ab Flab was made into 5 series, in which all of them won a BRIT award, as well as the 5th series, which was nominated for a TERRY'S Award but, unfortunately was won by 'It's me, your comedy chocolate parter DAWNIE FRENCH.'

Private Life[edit]

Is obsessively in love with Madonna, and after many attempts to woo the ageing hag, including sending her bags of Jennifer's own hair and fingernail clippings, in 2008 Jennifer dressed up in Madonna's own lycra and sunglasses, in an attempt to appeal to the singer's narcissistic side.

Jennifer suffers from a rare disorder whereby her leg bones can spontaneously fall out. They can, however usually be reinstated by a rousing rendition of 'Walking in The Air'.

Every time Jennifer licks her bottom lip, an Angel gets its wings.

Interesting factoid #24.3: Jennifer looks good in leather.

Sexual Life[edit]

You are no longer a virgin.

It is a little known fact that upon viewing both of Jennifer's naked breasts, one's organs instantly liquefy. For this reason, Ade never has sex whilst wearing his glasses.

Jennifer and her slapstick master turned farmer-rockstar husband, Adrian Edmondson moved to a farm in Devon, in order to extend their repertoire of sexual games and noises.

When either partner is away with work, a lucky beast from the farm is brought into the marital bedroom, to fill in the empty gap on the other side of the bed.

Has the uncanny ability to incite the loss of virginity with just a look.

Has shagged Russell Brand and David Attenborough.

Public Life[edit]

In 2004, Jennifer stunned Britain and most of the world, when she brutally attacked the Queen who made the fatal mistake of asking where the 'funny one' was, resulting in her Majesty's hospitalisation. She is still waiting to be charged.

Jennifer is generally regarded as much hotter than Madonna.

For a brief, but happy period, Jennifer worked at The Comic Strip, she was one of the most popular dancers, until it was discovered that her tits, whilst being alarmingly realistic, were in fact, fake, and she was fired on the spot.

She declined to appear on Fame Academy, instead choosing to whore out her now ex-best friend (and true writer of Ab Flab) Full Wax, and he own husband, Hillary Edmond. She is now responsible for nineteen shows currently screening on television, and occasionally letting her daughters, Belly, Beetle and Frayed, out of the house and appearing in one of the shows, Jammin' Jerusalem, providing they pay a small fee.


Jennifer Saunders hard at work at the Comic Strip


  • French Brand Saunas
  • A Bucket O' French Brand Saunas
  • Sausages and Mash
  • Girls On Pot
  • Queen of the Yeast
  • Let Them Eat Steak
  • The Beattie Jeneration.
  • Ssshhlags
  • Semenella
  • Queen of the Wild Full Frontal