Jersey City, New Jersey

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Jersey City is the most diverse city on the world. It's like every person is from a different country, although genetic research showed that there is no relationship between its citizens and people from Ireland, Italy, Germany, Poland, Israel and wherever that WASP may come from. The inter-cultural life curbs the criminal activities, as a gang employing five crooks will also need 4*5/2*1=10 translators.


Jersey City has its better days, probably before the first inhabitants arrived. Placed between Newark and New York City, the city has no riots as there was no majority or richer minority (or rich minorities at all).

Taking the example of Israel and United States, the neighbourhoods of Newport and Downtown are protected by a fence, mostly made up of gentrification. This led the Jersey City Heights citizens to create their army which will occupy the small neighbour Hoboken, as soon as they will afford it (if the only investor will remain the SSA, that's not going to happen in the following millennium).

The main religion in Jersey City is pollution, worshipped in the catacombs called chromite dumps.


The politics of Jersey have no relevance, as the immigrants making it up have no right to vote and they wouldn't care anyway. It didn't used to be this way and the citizens used to care and think more about elections when they elected Frank Hague each time they were allowed, for 30 years. He was the first New Jersey king and the city monarch with the most years as ruler, beating one-handed Pope Ratzinger.

Out and About[edit]

Jersey City boasts the world's largest clock, Colgate clock, which unfortunately is facing New York and is useless for Jerseyans. Also the Statue of Liberty has a postal address in Jersey City, which means nothing, as nobody is mad enough to send her mailings.

Jersey City could have a large harbour, but it isn't. It also has no airports, but no citizen is returning to his overseas home, so who cares? It also has no train stations, but nobody needs them as there are sidewalks and walking is healthy (even if you're walking to Sankt Petersburg). There is no bridge from Jersey City to New York, as swimming is also healthy and Jerseyans don't want those pesky New Yorkers there anyway. The Pulasky bridge from Newark was also destroyed as Jersayns became truly Americans, isolationists and exclusivists (due to an act which will actually work in the Last Tuesday before Judgement Day).