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Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Flying Spaghetti Monster?
You have been invited to meet Jesus.
You have holy messages
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Jesus.
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The faux patriot snake handlers at Conservapedia have an even funnier article about Jesus.

Pick your Jesii below, but hurry.

There are many things to do with Jesus. Dine with him at the Great Ancient Christian Restaurant. Watch Finding Jesus with him. Have Jesus read you his gospels. Play with him Jesus the Video Game. All each one of these costs $500,000,000. Isn't that amazing?

Jesus the Video Game cover.