Jesus
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Pick your Jesii below, but hurry.
The Sacred Host of Major Jesii
| Fear their wrath, and beware their confusing names. If you are confused about which one you want, it's probably Original Jesus. | |
| Original Jesus: Hey, hey, hey, it's the Jee Man himself; the one who started it all! | Don't care if it rains or freezes? You need Plastic Jesus |
| Jebus: Original Jesus's Crackhead Twin Half-Brother | Jesus was a brutha: Black Jesus |
| Jesus H. Christ: The 56th president of the US | Jesus saves (leftovers): Jesusware |
| Evil Jesus: Drunken saviour, friend of whores and thieves. | Your own: Personal Jesus |
| Jesus Christ Sponge: Purge sin and clean your dishes! | ¿Qué?: Jesús |
| Jesus Hasselhoff: He's everywhere! | Pictorial retrospective of the Life and Times of: Lorem Ipsum Jesus |
| Ultra Jesus: All Jesii wrapped into one | Back with a vengeance! Zombie Jesus |
| Canadian Jesus: The Second Coming! | Rawr! Raptor Jesus |
| Cheesus: Lord of all that is lactose. | Not To Be Confused With Super-Gay Jesus: Gay Jesus |
| Jesus was Christian, NOT Jewish: Enough said. | |
The So-So Company of Other Jesii
| Fear their wrath, and beware their contrived names. If you are still confused about which one you want, you were probably much better off with Original Jesus. | |
| Monster Jesii | |
|---|---|
| Jesusaurus Rex: The tyrant Jesus...lizard | Save yourself from Werejesus! |
| Raptor Jesus: Nazareth Park is frightening in the dark | And they said Jesus rode on a Mule...Nyah!:Llama Jesus |
| Attack of the 500 foot Jesus: Demolishing non-blessed skyscrapers -- New York, watch out! | This Jesus loves your brains...: Zombie Jesus |
| Munchie Jesii | |
| Jam Jesus: With a name like 'Jam Jesus', it has to be good. | Savour the Saviour: Cheese Jesus |
| Jesus Juice: An Energy Drink...IT'S GOT ELECTROLYTES! | Finally, something on a stick the whole family can enjoy!: Sweet Jesus on a Stick! |
| Jesus Related Locations. | |
| Jesusland | Red States |
| Jesus Ocean | Israel |
The Abandoned Hallway of Unwanted Jesii
| Pity them, and feed them table scraps. If you are still confused about which one you want... then you're fucking retarded, bitch! | |
| Bad Jesii | |
|---|---|
| All Jesii wrapped into no-one: Atheist Jesus | Sabbath Night Fever: The Bee-Jesus |
| Piss Christ: Ewww! | You crack my back, I'll crack yours: Chiropractor Jesus |
| Evil Jesus: Careful of this Jesus | "Promoting God's chain of Churches: "McJesus |
| Prehistoric Jesus: The find of the century. | Djesus: French Jesus |
| The real reason Christ was crucified: Jesus of Jerusalem | And for anyone we've missed out on: Society of Jesus |
Original Jesus was said to be emo.
This is evident from his self harming, which can be seen on his hands and feet
This is evident from his self harming, which can be seen on his hands and feet
See also[edit]
- Youtube's "The Official Jesus Christ Channel"
- Facebook's Jesus Christ page
- Jesus on Twitter
- This is a disambiguation page. We have absolutely no idea where you might want to go to from here. Umm . . . you know what? Clicking the "Back" button might be a good idea right about now.