Jillian Hall
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Jillian Hall (born on Halloween 1980 in Deepest Darkest Samoa) is an American-Samoan professional wrestler, athlete, actress, dancer, singer, and General Manager who currently works in the WWE on the RAW brand, under the name WWE RAW General Manager Jillian Hall. She is 6'4" and weighs 325 pounds. Her finisher is the dreaded "Samoan Spike," which is a thumb poke to the eye of her opponents. She has a teenage daughter, by the name of Hilary Duff. Hall is the second cousin to Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. And did we mention that she's SMOKIN' HOT???
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[edit] Early Years
Jillian (also known as Jigglin Tits Hall) was born to an American blonde mother and one of the two "Wild Samoans" in Deepest Darkest Samoa. She is said to be the spawn of a Halloween demon ritual. Nonetheless, growing up in Samoa, Jillian honed her skull to be as rock hard as any other Samoans. Akthough she had light skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes, she still had a bit of Samoan blood in her and thus, had the ability to perform all kinds of devastating Samoan headbutts. Because she was born in Samoa, she automatically had to become a pornstar and professinal toe sucker and has sex with her son's pet hamster. She moved to the United States in the late 90's, the Spice Girls were a big international sensation. One day, the Spice Girls performed a concert in a post office.Jillian, a teenager new to the American way of life, got up on stage and headbutted each of the Spice Girls unconscious. One person in attendance at the mall, Shane McMahon, was so impressed by this, that he signed nher and made her blow him.
[edit] Early Wrestling Career
Jillian, because of her Samoan genes, was quite large when she first debuted, and so, she went by the name "The Bombshell" when she first wrestled. Jillian Hall took on many female opponents, but most of them were way out of Jillian's weight range. So Jillian took time off in order to "slim down" into the females weight range, which stopped at 200 pounds. And when she returned she made an impact by farting in jerry the king lawler's face why he was commentating
Jillian spent the next few years trying to slim down and lose weight, but for the most part, had a hard time keeping the weight off due to her Samoan genes. So finally, she gave up trying to compete in the Women's division and just decided to become a mainstream "jobber," (wrestler who always loses matches) instead.
Jillian returned to OVW in late 2001, and was quickly called up to the primetime in 2002 as part of WWE RAW General Manager Eric Bischoff's "Three Minute Warning" team, in which Jillian was partnered up with a relative of hers named Rosey. In Three Minute Warning, the two Samoans would give any opposition to Eric Bischoff just three minutes to escape before they would jump on them and sit on their heads while farting. The team lasted just short of a year when WWE Chairman Vince McMahon realized that he had employed a female in his company without fake breasts! Vince demoted Jillian back down to OVW, ordering that she could'nt come back until she had gotten ridiciously huge breast implants first.
[edit] Ohio Valley Wrestling
Jillian returned to OVW on Easter 2003, now with really big breast implants to match her huge size and rock hard Samoan head! The combined forces of Jillian's head, boobs, height, and especially weight, made her an unstoppable force in OVW. Jillian was now making enough money that she decided to go to school and learn Wrestling Business Management online. Jillian spent her days wrestling and nights studying hard. This however, had a nasty effect on her body as it made her breast implants leak into her brain and caused her to grow a rice krispie treat on the side of her face. Because of her mutations, Jillian turned heel and started viciously attacking everyone in OVW with her right hand's thumb. This later became known as the "Samoan Spike" technique.
While checking up on his new prospects, Vince liked the idea of a giant, blonde Samoan girl with a rice krispie penis on her face that struck her opponents wit
[edit] World Wrestling Entertainment
[edit] Eminem Days
Jillian had debuted on SmackDown as a Public Relations manager for Eminem in order to fix up his image as a foul-mouthed white boy rapper. But despite her knowledge, bombshell figure, and adequate wrestling weight, most fans had only noticed the rice krispie treat that was on her face. Too lazy to get plastic surgery to have it removed, Jillian spent most of her days pretending it's not there.
Jillian led Eminem to WWE gold many times, but after "Dancing With The Stars" Season Two runner-up, Stacy Keibler had gotten jealous of Jillian's penis hanging around with Eminem, the two had started to feud with each other. Both were around the same height, but Jillian outweighed Stacy by at least 100 pounds, causing her to easily hit her finisher on Stacy. This is the first time WWE fans would witness the Samoan Spike since the 1980's! Eventually, Stacy won over Eminem and Jillian was fired as his Image Consultant.
[edit] JBL Days
Jillian Hall, the blonde Samoan bombshell, was later approached by cigar-aficionado JBL in order for him to manage her singles career. The two hooked up in order to help each other's careers out. JBL and Jillian's first feud together was with WWE Hall of Famer, The Boogeyman. During their feud, Jillian had to go through all kinds of nightmareish torture, which included her having a hand full of worms shoved up her skirt and her mole being bitten off by the monster! Which monster is unknown, but you can be sure, The Boogeyman had something to do with it! Eventually, Jillian Hall had beaten champion The Boogeyman, Kristal Marshall, and Chavo Guerrero in a Fatal 4-Way match for the WWE United States Championship at WrestleMania 22. This would mark her first reign with WWE gold! After WrestleMania, JBL had become jealous of Jillian's success and so, he fired the "Blonde Samoan Bombshell" after he lost to her in a Steel Cage match, in which he had promised beforehand would not effect their friendship or business partnership.
[edit] United States Champion Days
After being fired, Jillian feuded off against known Samoan-hater, Melina Perez for the United States championship for a while. However, every match ended the same for Melina, with her getting a Samoan Spike to the eye each and every week. Once Melina decided to quit facing her, Jillian would end up defending her title against the likes of most of the SmackDown! locker room, including Ashley Massaro, Michelle McCool, Kristal Marshall, Shannon Moore, and Chavo Guerrero, again. These feuds lasted all the way up until "WWE No Way Out 2007," when Hall lost the precious United States championship to Ashley Massaro via a Roll-Up pin!
[edit] Ashley Days
Right after Jillian Hall lost the title to Ashley, Jillian turned babyface and Ashley had gotten the chance to show her scrawny, Siliconed ass off in Playboy magazine. At this time, Ashley Massaro was the Queen of the SmackDown! world! Jillian and Ashley feuded with Michelle McCool and Kristal and Jillian took on a more powerful wrestling style. In one infamous match, Jillian actually bit the nipple off of Michelle McCool. As Michelle run to the backstage area to have her nipple re-attatched, Jillian pulled down her pants and shoved her skid-marked ass in Kristal's face. Kristal tapped out in a matter of seconds and had to be carried backstage. Jillian then decided to fall in love with ashley and they both became lesbians. this storyline led to 9-12 year olds to get the biggest erections to the point were they would pop. she was also talented in "Divas Uncovered" matches and Bikini Contests. Jillian eventually turned on Ashley calling her "Trashley" and shoved her in a smelly dumpster and sent her off to Survivor China.
[edit] Timbaland Days
Later on, Jillian found herself in a feud with one half of the WWE Tag Team Champions, Timbaland, who also just happens to be a big time Hip Hop recording producer. Jillian used the Samoan Spike on Timbaland, at every turn. After about two weeks of this, Timbaland's tag team partner, Michelle McCool returned from her yeast-infection injury and the two double-teamed poor Jillian backstage, constantly. On one night, Michelle McCool had coaxed Jillian into defending her United States title against the tough, Irish bastard, Matt Hardy. Interference and distractions from McCool had caused Jillian to lose the title to Matt, in an upset. Michelle McCool and Timbaland laughed about it from the SmackDown! rampway. Eventually, Timbaland went on to get herpies in a video of Sin City," and had purposely made sure Jillian would not appear in the video. Needless to say, this had Jillian all in a Tizzy!
In her final, televised SmackDown! Porter potty, Jill shit.
[edit] WWE RAW Days (June 2007-Present)
On her RAW Debut, Jillian Hall defeated Candice Michelle.The next week, she beat Edge in order to become the Number One Contender to the WWE Championship, which John Cena held. Before his feud with Randy Orton, but after his feud with The Great Kelly, Cena challenged Jillian to a "Hair vs Hair" match, in which, if Cena won, he'd get to shave WWE Chairman Vince McMahon bald! But if Jillian Hall won, then she'd get to shave the creator of the hit NBC reality show, "The Apprentice," Donald Trump bald! In their big match, John Cena won, and so, Vince McMahon was forced to be shaved bald!
Mr. McMahon was furious about having his head shaved bald, so forced Jillian Hall to participate in a 30 Superstar, Over-The-Top-Rope Battle Royal, with a spec
[edit] Outside of WWE
In her spare time, Jillian likes to Tivo episodes of "Family Guy" and also help out her daughter Hilary by baking cookies for school fund raisers and attending PTA meetings. As far as relationships go, she has been seen around her hometown of Inglewood, in Los Angeles, with the likes of Tank Toland. Tank Toland is a 325 pound midget that is about 2 feet tall. Tank is a she-male and was cut from the RAW Diva search for sucking too much ass. After realizing that big tits are all that a person with a fetus wants in life, Tank quit life and is usually carried around in her luggage to all of the WWE events just in case Jillian needs an anal cream pie. Jillian Hall's bra size is a 42 GGG and enjoys stuffing people's cocks between them.
[edit] Jillian's Moveset
[edit] Jillian's Finishers
- Thumb poke to the eye ("Samoan Spike")
- Knee strike to gut into a full force Powerbomb ("JillianBomb")
- Full Nelson Bulldog ("Hall of Fame")
[edit] Jillian's Singature Moves
- Running Butt Press (also known as the "Butt Avalanche" or the "Assvalanche")
- Top Rope ass ram
- 6 Top Turnbuckle Diving Headbutt
- 1086 degree Splash
- Double Spiral Moonsault
- Standing Missle Dropkick
- Wheelbarrow Hold to Spinning Facebuster (Double Team move)
- Cartwheel Elbow Drop
- Cartwheel crotch Drop onto opponent's head
- Spinning Scoop Slam ("Black Hole Slam")
- Handspring Back Elbow Smash (The "Tajiri Attack")
- Two-Handed/Double-Handed Chokeslam ("Goozlebomb")
- Smothers and rubs opponents face in her cleavage(skim milk)
- Stomp/Step-on opponent's boob
- Sit on head and pass gas or break wind
- Strip off clothes
- Sing a song
- Humiliate Opponent any way possible
- Slaps boob in opponent's face
[edit] Wrestlers managed by Jillian
- Eminem
- John Bradshaw Laifield
- Lindsay Lohan
- The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
- Tizzy McGuire
- Melina Perez
- You
- Me
[edit] Jillian's Career Nicknames
- "The Bombshell"
- "The Samoan Blonde Bombshell"
- "The Blonde Samoan Bombshell"
- "The Samoan Wrecking Machine"
- "The Samoan Smashing Machine"
- "The Samoan Bulldozer"
- "The Jolly Blonde Giant"
- "Beth Pheonix"
- "The Pop Princess"
- "UUUUUUMAGA!!!"
- "Boobs"
- "Lening Tower of Tits"
- "Smelly Cat"
- "The Little Engine That Could"
[edit] Jillian's Theme Music
- Indy Days-2001 - "Playa Hatin" by Mase
- 2002 - "Independent Women" by Destiny's Child
- 2003 - "Toxic" by Britney Spears
- 2004 - "Fuck Wit Dre Day" by Dr. Dre
- 2005 - "Trapped In The Closet" by R. Kelly
- 2006 - "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp" by Hustle and Flow
- 2007 - "Fuck Wit Dre Day(again)" by Dr. Dre
- Present - "J-to-the-Izzle" - self-performed
[edit] Championships and Accomplishments
Jillian Hall is a twenty-time World Champion.
- 2-Time WWE Women's Champion - 2007
- 1-Time WWE United States Champion - 2006
- 1-Time Cordon Bleu Champion - 2006
- 2-Time International Canadian Champion - 2005
- 1-Time Pokemon League Elite Four Champion 2005
- 2-Time Sports Illustrated Women's Champion 2005
- 3-Time Mid-Atlantic South World Champion - 2005
- 1-Time Magical Girl Champion 2005
- 1-Time Southern Rednecks, Christians, Hillbillies, and Hicks (SRCHH) Champion - 2004
- 2-Time Superstar Wrestling Champion - 2004
- 3-Time WOW Women of Wrestling Champion - 2003
- 1-Time Samoan - Female Of the Year - Champion 2002 *3-Time "Boobs of the Month"
[edit] External links
