Johan de Meij

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Johan de Meij.

After fusing with a wolf of the night, Johan De Meij was able to write pieces of music in animal sounds so that different animals could understand the music. At first people raved over his magnificent skills, however this had side effects. De Meij would howl at the full moon constantly, which made it very hard for the night premiere of his most famous work A Night with your Father and eventually lead to his exclusion from night time concerts.


Johan De Meij was the first man to introduce day time premiere's of musical works. The first was his avant garde composition The Life and Times of Mr Bean following the crazy adventures of humourous British icon, Mr Bean. His day time premiere shows became a cult hit, and everyone flocked to them until the evil Dr Nebula flooded the day time concert hall with buckets upon buckets of black death infested mice. Millions were killed.

This unfortunately didn't go down to well for Johan De Meij, and this was evident when his next piece, From the Walls of Tibet flopped and was shunned in the public eye.

This sent Johan De Meij into a depressive state writing love poem after love poem to his girlfriend - Wilma the Goat, whom he met at one of his farmyard concerts. One of these Love poems was leaked to the media and became a cult hit. Johan De Meij came out of hiding and officially released it with the title, Goat Cheese and he shot back into stardom. He married Wilma the Goat and they lived together for 23 days, before she was eaten by her husband. This was thought to be a murder suicide.

However, Johan De Meij's greatest work was still yet to come. After six years of composing in a hidden cave, away from the police trying to find him after his murder, he completed his unfinished work Infinite Universe. He plans to continue editing it until he dies and then his son - Goatette, will continue completing the work after his death.


Complete Works of Johan De Meij[edit]

  • A Night with your Father - 1986
  • Oink Oink (Ode to the Pigs) - 1987
  • Baa, Baa, (This Little Lamb's Milk Is Gone) - 1988
  • Homosexuality Is In You - 1989
  • King Dong - Revenge of the Smith - 1990
  • The Show Must Go On - 1991
  • the Johan De Meij Show - 1992
  • 2 secs - 1992
  • Thai Food Gives Me Gas - 1993
  • Lord of the Dong - Penis Towers - 1994
  • The Life and Times of Mr Bean - 1995
  • From the Walls of Tibet - 1996
  • Goat Cheese - 2000
  • Infinite Universe - 2006

Television Shows[edit]

  • the Johan De Meij Show - 1992

A short lived TV Game Show where marriage is put to the test. De Meij locks a suspected cheater in a room with a barnyard animal of his choice and a camera in the corner, and if the cheater starts to make a move on the animal the footage is shown to the suspecter and action is taken. The show lasted 3 episodes - Episode 3 had to be pulled mid-air because of Beastiality laws of the time.


  • My Love Poems - 2001
  • The Making of Infinite Universe (T.B.A.)