John Ruiz
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John Ruiz is an American former professional boxer, actor and musician. It is often claimed that he is of Puerto Rican descent, but this is only because of a mistake.
[edit] Early Life
Growing up on the mean streets of America, Ruiz suffered with a tough home life - his father an alcoholic, and his mother very slow. In one particularly distressing incident, Ruiz was beaten up badly for his lunch money by a young James Toney. However, after testing positive for twinkies, Toney was forced to return the cash by the World Association of Professional Bullying.
The lack of love and affection Ruiz experienced during this time has always been at the core of explaining his personality, and of his move into boxing.
[edit] Boxing Career
Ruiz began to box at the age of eighteen, believing it to be the cheapest and most rewarding way of attaining the human contact he so sorely craved. This is the primary reason behind his trademark 'hold 'n' hold' style. Success came quickly for Ruiz, going undefeated in his first fourteen fights before losing to the evil Communist robot Sergei Kobozev, whose contempt for human warmth and compassion made him a very challenging foe for the young Ruiz.
Yet after lifting the WBOBAFB Championnshippe for Unrully Chylldrenne at the tender age of twenty-six, Ruiz enjoyed a rich vein of form, which was only ended with a controversial first round knockout by David Tua. Ruiz's management demanded a rematch, believing that by throwing punches intended to cause discomfort, Tua was not only cheating, but bringing the heavyweight division into disrepute.
Although these appeals fell on deaf ears, Ruiz allowed his vice-like grip to do the talking. Wins against Greg Pickrom (a TKO due to boredom), Kirk Johnson (disqualified for being smelly) and Thomas Williams (who failed to answer the seventh round bell after becoming particularly comfy on his stool) established Ruiz as a top contender.
But it is for his classic series with Evander Holyfield that Ruiz will be best remembered. Ruiz was dominated in the first bout, losing by unanimous decision, but later explained that this was due to not realising that the fight had started yet. Having proved deserving of a rematch, Ruiz proceeded to defeat Holyfield with ease, famously breaking all known records for punching accuracy along the way (three punches thrown, three punches landed).
Most boxing historians would agree that this fight represented the peak for Ruiz. At that point, he held an astonising three-hundred and twelve different belts, including the WBFA's Minumumweight Title which he was awarded due to being really great, and the IBFBFBF's Guatamalan Flyweight strap, which Ruiz bought for cash because it went well with his favourite shirt.
However, the next few years were tough for Ruiz. He had once been spurred on by his great desire to experience the love and affection of his fellow man - yet at this time, his cup had truly runnethed over. The endless pestering from the media and his adoring fans jaded Ruiz, and he very nearly succumbed to the same excesses that had claimed the life of his father. In one famous incident outside his Boston home, an enraged Ruiz hugged three young autograph hunters so hard, they were admitted to a local medical facility suffering from severely buggered ribs.
The resultant negative press attention distracted Ruiz, causing him to lose two consecutive fights and ultimately decide to retire from the sport he had once loved so dearly. At an emotional press conference, Ruiz officially announced that he would hang up his gloves (which sold for nearly $10 on E-Bay due to their surprisingly unsullied condition) in order to fight his biggest battle yet. Not, as one overeager daily newspaper had predicted, a bearknuckle rematch with Jack Basting, but a metaphorical struggle with his own personal demons.
[edit] After Boxing
The post-boxing world has been remarkably kind to Ruiz. After a long and successful session drying out in rehab, he has branched out into varied fields of entertainment.
His most popular project to date was the hit single 'Momma Said Tie You Up', an emotional yet ultimately positive retrospective on his career, and a tribute to his recently deceased mother. The b-side, a cover of Captain Beefheart's 'Frownland' showed Ruiz's surprising diversity and range. An EP, 'The Quiet Man Gets Loud', is scheduled for recording shortly, and will apparently see Ruiz lay bear his socialist political leanings and taste for Latino folk music. The recording will be produced by Billy Bragg.
Although most famous for his musical endeavours since retiring from the ring, Ruiz has also taken many small roles on the big and small screen. His work on small projects up to this point has earned critical acclaim, and Ruiz is scheduled to appear in Rocky VI, as moody Latin boxer Octavio 'The Octopus' Octopusso.
