John Wayne Gacy

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Pogo clowning around

Pogo the Clown, sometimes known by his stage name, John Wayne Gacy, enjoyed the company of young men, as many as 29 of whom he kept on hand at all times in the crawlspace below his house in Chicago, IL. He was the father of Dick the Clown and Michael Jackson.


1968 - 1970

1979 - 1994

Famous Quote[edit]

-"It may not look like it but I've got the body of a 19 my crawlspace."

Vice President[edit]

Gerry Adams

Pogo's Alter Ego[edit]

Pogo attended many block parties dressed as his alter ego, a jovial, pudgy contractor. His alcoholic father was physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive to him, and Pogo sought escape in the world of gaiety, painting his face white, except for his eyes and the part of his forehead above each eye, which were colored blue, in the shape of triangles, and his mouth, which he painted red, exaggerating his lips to enormous dimensions. Pogo wore a short red hat, a ruffled white collar with a red stripe below the chin, and white gloves. His top was divided down the middle, the right side solid red, and the left side bearing vertical red and white stripes. He wore no pants, underpants, or shoes. Although many of his humorous antics resulted from his semi-nudity, he often carried helium-inflated balloons with which to do simple tricks or to give away to admiring children. Pogo was popular in the role of John Wayne Gacy, attending many block parties.


Before becoming an entertainer, Pogo worked as a living billboard in Las Vegas, NV. Then, moving to Illinois, he worked as a shoe salesman alongside Ted Bundy’s brother Al, later managing a fast food restaurant that sold deep-fat-fried chicken cadavers. His first marriage ended happily when Pogo was accused, some say falsely, of molesting a child. Sentenced to prison, the divorced clown spent the next 18 months of his life incarcerated.

Fondling Rosalyn[edit]

Paroled after 18 months, Pogo bought a house, sharing the residence with his momma until, starting a construction business, PDM Contracting, Pogo married, whereupon he kicked his momma out of the house. She became a well known street person during her subsequent career as a homeless woman. Pogo realized one of his heart’s desires when, becoming a Democrat, he met and fondled First Lady Rosalyn Carter.

Serial Murder[edit]

Pogo had his first sexual experience with a dead boy shortly after fondling the president’s wife, and his second marriage ended in divorce. Single again, Pogo lived a blameless existence as a pillar of the community during the day and became a perverted sex maniac and serial killer by night. When a teenage boy was reported missing after last having been seen in Pogo’s company, police searched the clown’s house and found incriminating evidence that connected him to several other cases of missing young men. Pogo confessed to his lawyer that he had killed as many as 33 youths. He had buried 29 beneath his house. With no more room available in his crawlspace, Pogo began tossing corpses into the nearby and quite cooperative Des Plaines River. The clown’s victims ranged in age from nine to 20 years old and were mostly teen prostitutes, runaways, or Pogo’s own employees.


Because Pogo pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity and because he was misunderstood, the jury believed that the clown was unable to distinguish between humor and rationality. They also thought his jokes were in bad taste and, as a result, sentenced him to death. Fourteen years later, Pogo was strapped to a gurney in Illinois’ Stateville Penitentiary and, after dining on a last supper of dead shrimp, fried chicken cadavers, fresh strawberries, French fries, and semen, he was executed by clown fire. The orgy that insued was christined "Gacy’s Day Parade", and participants cheered upon the announcement that Pogo had been executed. Concession stands sold snacks as well as video recordings of the celebration, while vendors hawked T-shirts and other wares. Most info is completely wrong!!!!!!!!!


During his imprisonment, Pogo painted many self-portraits of himself in costume, signing them with his now-infamous tagline, “A clown can get away with murder.” Several musicians display Pogo’s paintings on their album cover, and Madonna and Marilyn Manson named their lovechild after Pogo.